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Some people think that sport teaches children how to compete, while others believe that children learn teamwork. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.3

Some people think that sport teaches children how to compete, while others believe that children learn teamwork. v. 3
There is an argument on whether juveniles receive the competitiveness from learning sports or it provides a child with an ability to work as a team. This essay will discuss both points of view and will state that children are well-behaved because of those provided by sporting. On the one hand, it is undeniable that sport teaches teenagers how to compete and when. Sports were introduced to our modernised world by the advertisement and worldwide well-known competition, such as the Olympics Games and World Championship tournament. The sense of sport is to gain superiority from the opponents. The pupils, therefore, memorise and follow the footstep of their idols or athlete they admire. However, the characteristic of being competitive help children to protect themselves from an upcoming obstacle. On the other hands, sport provides good examples to learn a skill of teamwork. In Thailand, for instance, the athletes from all over the country gather at a sports club. People from diverse backgrounds are brought and spend most of their time together as a family or mates through difficult times. Consequently, playing sports contribute to some positive personalities, especially being considerate and kind-hearted, which are the major traits of teamwork. The advantages assist a child to become a proper adult. To conclude, sports not only lead children to the act of competitiveness, but it also encourages them to be able to work as a group in every atmosphere. In my perspective, these two characteristics help teenagers improve their personal idiosyncrasy and inform them what is beneficial for surviving in the actual world.
There is an argument on whether juveniles receive the competitiveness from learning
sports
or it provides a child with an ability to work as a team. This essay will discuss both points of view and will state that children are well-behaved
because
of those provided by sporting.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that
sport
teaches
teenagers
how to compete and when.
Sports
were introduced
to our
modernised
world by the advertisement and worldwide well-known competition, such as the Olympics Games and World Championship tournament. The sense of
sport
is to gain superiority from the opponents. The pupils,
therefore
,
memorise
and follow the footstep of their idols or athlete they admire.
However
, the characteristic of being competitive
help
children to protect themselves from an upcoming obstacle.

On the other hands,
sport
provides
good
examples to learn a
skill
of teamwork. In Thailand,
for instance
, the athletes from all over the country gather at a
sports
club.
People
from diverse backgrounds
are brought
and spend most of their time together as a family or mates through difficult times.
Consequently
, playing
sports
contribute to
some
positive
personalities,
especially
being considerate and kind-hearted, which are the major traits of teamwork. The advantages assist a child to become a proper adult.

To conclude
,
sports
not
only
lead children to the act of competitiveness,
but
it
also
encourages them to be able to work as a group in every atmosphere. In my perspective, these two characteristics
help
teenagers
improve
their personal idiosyncrasy and inform them what is beneficial for surviving in the actual world.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that sport teaches children how to compete, while others believe that children learn teamwork. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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