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Some people think that sport teaches children how to compete, while other believe that children learn teamwork. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that sport teaches children how to compete, while other believe that children learn teamwork. v. 1
Many people argue that children should be more competitive, while others think that learning teamwork would contribute to their development. In my opinion, I believe that both competitive and teamwork are encouraged to children when they come to sport. There are good reasons why sport enables children to understand how to compete. Firstly, when young people start competing with others, they push the body’s physical limit in order to surpass competitors. For example, some professional swimmers have to spend long hours to do the workout every day if they want to be a person who breaks the Olympic records. Secondly, to be successful in sport, children need to be handle negative emotions such as control nerves and overcome fear. For example, in some strategy games like chess or go, players usually take a deep breath in middle game that not only improve thinking ability but also deal with time pressure. Alongside the influence of winning in sport, children also learn about teamwork. First, one of the key benefits of teamwork is cooperation. Working as a team teaches one to keep personal differences aside, and focus on the team success. For instance, in football match, the kids who play goalkeeper should be encouraged as this position most often forgotten and neglected. Another advantage of teamwork is that is provides the players an opportunity to socialize and build relations, as they come together with a common interest and love for the sport. Being a part of a team helps players overcome their shyness, as they are forced to interact with other teammates, some of whom they might have never met or spoken to, before. In fact, bonding between teammates is the key, as it indicates how successful the team would prove to be. In conclusion, I believe that sports are not only bring competitive spirit but also improve teamwork ability for children
Many
people
argue that
children
should be more competitive, while others
think
that learning
teamwork
would contribute to their development. In my opinion, I believe that both competitive and
teamwork
are encouraged
to
children
when they
come
to sport.

There are
good
reasons why
sport
enables
children
to understand how to compete.
Firstly
, when young
people
start
competing with others, they push the body’s physical limit in order to surpass competitors.
For example
,
some
professional swimmers
have to
spend long hours to do the workout every day if they want to be a person who breaks the Olympic records.
Secondly
, to be successful in
sport
,
children
need to be handle
negative
emotions such as control nerves and overcome fear.
For example
, in
some
strategy games like chess or go, players
usually
take a deep breath in middle game that not
only
improve
thinking ability
but
also
deal with time pressure.

Alongside the influence of winning in
sport
,
children
also
learn about
teamwork
.
First
, one of the key benefits of
teamwork
is cooperation. Working as a
team
teaches one to
keep
personal differences aside, and focus on the
team
success.
For instance
, in football match, the kids who play goalkeeper should
be encouraged
as this position most
often
forgotten and neglected. Another advantage of
teamwork
is
that is
provides the players an opportunity to socialize and build relations, as they
come
together with a common interest and
love
for the
sport
. Being a part of a
team
helps
players overcome their shyness, as they
are forced
to interact with other teammates,
some
of whom they might have never met or spoken to,
before
. In fact, bonding between teammates is the key, as it indicates how successful the
team
would prove to be.

In conclusion
, I believe that
sports
are not
only
bring competitive spirit
but
also
improve
teamwork
ability for
children
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
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IELTS essay Some people think that sport teaches children how to compete, while other believe that children learn teamwork. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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