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Some people think that sport teaches children how to compete, while others believe that children learn team work. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people think that sport teaches children how to compete, while others believe that children learn team work. v. 2
Some aver that sport develops in our progeny a desire to compete. At the same time, there are those who state that our offspring are taught how to be team players. Below both prospects will be discussed in details and author’s opinion will be stated. To begin with, for many people sport is embodiment of competition. In fact, almost all sports events are aimed to figure out who is the fastest, the strongest or the best at a particular activity. To illustrate, success of any country that takes part in Olympic Games is measured by a number of trophies and medals its athletes have won. Consequently, youngsters who play or do sports activities are faced with a necessity to achieve success via competition. However, there are those who tend to believe that those children who participate to athletic activities rather learn how to work in a team. Of course, there are some games such as football and baseball that are played by teams that consist of several people and those young people who play those games are by default have to learn how to work together. Moreover, taking closer look at any sport would reveal that there is always a place for some team work. For instance, even such a highly individualistic activity as running assumes that the athletes exercise with other sportsmen and work with a coach that help him to be prepared for an impending competition. Thus, a sports person acquires knowledge how to be a part of a team. Finally, it seems that any sport activity requires from the individuals who participate have a desire to compete and a skill of working in a team. Of course, different games demand a distinct proportion of both elements. For instance, box requires from the fighters to be more competitive while playing basketball call in for more team effort and less rivalry with each other. To sum up, sport as an activity, by definition, requires from those who play to be competitive and at the same time to know how to be a team player. The proportions of these qualities will differ from sport to sport but both will be always present.
Some
aver that
sport
develops in our progeny a desire to compete. At the same time, there are those
who
state that our offspring
are taught
how to be
team
players. Below both prospects will
be discussed
in
details
and author’s opinion will
be stated
.

To
begin
with, for
many
people
sport
is embodiment of competition. In fact, almost all
sports
events
are aimed
to figure out
who
is the fastest, the strongest or the best at a particular
activity
. To illustrate, success of any country that
takes part
in Olympic
Games
is measured
by a number of trophies and medals its athletes have won.
Consequently
, youngsters
who
play or do
sports
activities
are faced
with a necessity to achieve success via competition.

However
, there are those
who
tend to believe that those children
who
participate to athletic
activities
rather
learn how to
work
in a
team
.
Of course
, there are
some
games
such as football and baseball that
are played
by
teams
that consist of several
people
and those young
people
who
play those
games
are by default
have to
learn how to
work
together.
Moreover
, taking closer look at any
sport
would reveal that there is always a place for
some
team
work
.
For instance
, even such a
highly
individualistic
activity
as running assumes that the athletes exercise with other sportsmen and
work
with a coach that
help
him to
be prepared
for an impending competition.
Thus
, a
sports
person acquires knowledge how to be a part of a team.

Finally
, it seems that any
sport
activity
requires from the individuals
who
participate have a desire to compete and a
skill
of working in a
team
.
Of course
,
different
games
demand a distinct proportion of both elements.
For instance
, box requires from the fighters to be more competitive while playing basketball call in for more
team
effort and less rivalry with each other.

To sum up,
sport
as an
activity
, by definition, requires from those
who
play to be competitive and at the same time to know how to be a
team
player. The proportions of these qualities will differ from
sport
to
sport
but
both will be always present.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that sport teaches children how to compete, while others believe that children learn team work. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
362 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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