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Some people think that space exploration is a waste of resource while others think that it is essential for mankind to continue to explore the universe in which we live. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that space exploration is a waste of resource while others think that it is essential for mankind to continue to explore the universe in which we live. v. 1
Some people argue that exploring space involves too much investment and time, while others think it is required for survival of human existence. In this essay, I will discuss both views and express my opinion. Space research requires huge amounts of money which instead could be invested for the basic needs of the people. Food, clothing and shelter form the primary needs of the mankind and these should take precedence before any other development. For example, in the USA, 50 percent of the government savings are spent on the NASA agency, a portion of which could have been used to help certain poor areas in the New York city. Therefore, it is important to satisfy the primitive needs before spending money on exploration of universe. Developed countries should help the poor countries to build these amenities instead of spending on space. On the other hand, it also seems important to research the planets and the universe. If we had not done enough research on space, we would not have found about the ozone depletion for instance, and annual rise in earth’s temperature. Because of this exploration, we had the opportunity to learn more about the planet we live in, and develop a plan to safeguard the Earth from unexpected disasters. Also, space research has helped us to understand the nature and the precautions we should take for natural calamities. Space research would be very important for the future in order to look for a planet suitable for human existence to dwell, in case of Earth's destruction due to extreme polution and global warming. To conclude, even though space exploration provides significant knowledge about our planet and the universe, I think we should initially spend on delivering basic needs of the people. Once adequate funds are allocated for this, we can then look into space research and explore more about the galaxies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that exploring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
involves too much investment and time, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it
is required
for survival of human existence. In this essay, I will discuss both views and express my opinion.

Space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
requires huge amounts of money which
instead
could
be invested
for the basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Food, clothing and shelter form the primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of the mankind and these should take precedence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
any other development.
For example
, in the USA, 50 percent of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
savings
are spent
on the NASA agency, a portion of which could have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
certain poor areas in the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
New York city
.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to satisfy the primitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
spending money on exploration of universe.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Developed countries
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the poor countries to build these amenities
instead
of spending on space.

On the other hand
, it
also
seems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
and the universe. If we had not done
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
, we would not have found about the ozone depletion
for instance
, and annual rise in earth’s temperature.
Because of this
exploration, we had the opportunity to learn more about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in, and develop a plan to safeguard the Earth from unexpected disasters.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
us to understand the nature and the precautions we should take for natural calamities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the future in order to look for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
suitable for human existence to dwell, in case of Earth's destruction due to extreme
Possible spelling mistake found.
polution
and global warming.

To conclude
,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration provides significant knowledge about our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
and the universe, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we should
initially
spend on delivering basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Once adequate funds
are allocated
for this, we can then look into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
and explore more about the galaxies.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some people think that space exploration is a waste of resource while others think that it is essential for mankind to continue to explore the universe in which we live. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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