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Some people think that space exploration is a waste of resources while others think that it is essential for mankind to continue to explore the universe in which we live. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that space exploration is a waste of resources while others think that it is essential for mankind to continue to explore the universe in which we live. v. 1
In the last couple of decades, several researchers started exploring space in order to develop the universe. Although there are those who support the research, some argue that the research is a waste of resources. In this essay, I will first discuss pros and cons and give my personal opinion. On the one hand, there are two benefits for space exploration. One of the benefits is that it can lead to an increase in the number of solutions with regards to social issues that we’re facing today by discovering new planets. Due to the fact that solving social issues such as global warming is almost impossible, making a move to other planets could be a solution for us to survive. The second benefit is that, as soon as researchers start discovering other planets, capitalists will start investing in the space business, and make a huge impact on world economics. In fact, space startups raised significant funding and made important business alliances, as this sector has grown in prominence on the global stage. On the other hand, the bottleneck of space exploration is that the majority of people think it is more important to solve social issues such as global warming on our planet first without the hopes to find a new planet that can support human life. In fact, we’re facing so many issues that need monetary and human resources on our planet. For instance, Japan is facing a dramatic decline in population. Leading experts and assemblyman are reviewing the economic and social repercussions. As a result, there are elderly people than young people has already put huge pressure on the government’s budget due to utilize resources. Therefore, there’s no room to expand further resources human and money on space exploration. In my point of view, I strongly support space exploration and I think we should utilise all available resources on it because it will make an enormous impact on mankind, earth science, and biological development. As a person In conclusion, it is obvious that discovering new planets is the key factor to develop studies and economics significantly and I personally agree with this. However, there are those who think that spending resources on space discovery is a waste because social issues that we are currently facing have already put colossal pressure on the government’s budget.
In the last couple of decades, several researchers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
exploring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
in order to develop the universe. Although there are those who support the research,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that the research is a waste of resources. In this essay, I will
first
discuss pros and cons and give my personal opinion.

On the one hand, there are two benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration. One of the benefits is that it can lead to an increase in the number of solutions
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
with regards to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
that we’re facing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
by discovering new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
. Due to the fact that solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
such as global warming is almost impossible, making a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
could be a solution for us to survive. The second benefit is that, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as researchers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
discovering other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
, capitalists will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
investing in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
business, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a huge impact on world economics. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
startups raised significant funding and made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
business alliances, as this sector has grown in prominence on the global stage.

On the other hand
, the bottleneck of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration is that the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
such as global warming on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
first
without the hopes to find a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
that can support human life. In fact, we’re facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
that need monetary and human resources on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
.
For instance
, Japan is facing a dramatic decline in population. Leading experts and assemblyman are reviewing the economic and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
repercussions.
As a result
, there are elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
than young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
already put huge pressure on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
’s budget due to utilize resources.
Therefore
, there’s no room to expand
further
resources human and money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration.

In my point of view, I
strongly
support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we should
Do not mix variants of the same word ('utilise' and 'utilize') within a single text.
utilise
all available resources on it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an enormous impact on mankind, earth science, and biological development. As a
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
person


In conclusion
, it is obvious that discovering new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
is the key factor to develop studies and economics
significantly
and I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this.
However
, there are those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that spending resources on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
discovery is a waste
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
that we are
currently
facing have already put colossal pressure on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
’s budget.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that space exploration is a waste of resources while others think that it is essential for mankind to continue to explore the universe in which we live. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
386 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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