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Some people think that several short holiday from school are better, while others think one long summer holiday for the year is better for children. Discuss and include your own opinion. v.2

Some people think that several short holiday from school are better, while others think one long summer holiday for the year is better for children. Discuss and include your own opinion. v. 2
Vacations are very important to keep our mind fresh and free of burden. After long time work holidays are necessary for the relaxation. One of the most pressing concerns is that, pupils should need long time vacations or short time vacations. I am going to examine this questions from both points of view. To embark with, there are some people believe that pupils should need long time holidays and while other people belive that pupils need short time holidays. The role of long holidays to pursue recreational activities is exceptional. For example, students can be enabled to develop their creativity and skills by attending summer camps of art, drama, dance, music and many more practical skills. For example, they visit to historical places and cultural places and collect great knowledge and traditions. Furthermore, In the role of short holidays, pupils feel energetic to learn well and they are expected to study with more confidence. Short vacations makes students relaxed and refreshed the mind. Short breaks also helpful for sharp mind. American university surveyed that in 2017 years, approximately 120000 pupils develop our mind in the vacations. They learnt different types of skills and get a unique experience due to holidays. As consequently, school should need to give the vacations to the student. Because holidays are refreshed our mind, and pupils use it to develop other activities. Due to these activities they become a genius in any field in this modernisation era.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Vacations
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
fresh and free of burden. After
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
are necessary for the relaxation. One of the most pressing concerns is that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacations
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacations
. I am going to examine this questions from both points of view.

To embark with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
and while other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
belive
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
. The role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
to pursue recreational activities is exceptional.
For example
, students can
be enabled
to develop their creativity and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
by attending summer camps of art, drama, dance, music and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For example
, they visit to historical places and cultural places and collect great knowledge and traditions.

Furthermore
, In the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
feel energetic to learn
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
well and
they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to study with more confidence.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
students relaxed and refreshed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Short
breaks
also
helpful for sharp
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
. American university surveyed that in 2017 years, approximately 120000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
develop our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacations
. They
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a unique experience due to holidays.

As
consequently
, school should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to give the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacations
to the student.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
are refreshed
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it to develop other activities. Due to these activities they become a genius in any field in this
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernisation' is British English.
modernisation
era.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that several short holiday from school are better, while others think one long summer holiday for the year is better for children. Discuss and include your own opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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