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Many people spend a lot of time using communication technology What are the reasons for this What is the impact with their families and other people v.2

Many people spend a lot of time using communication technology What are the reasons for this What is the impact with their families and other people v. 2
In today’s world, technology has dramatic changed in human lives. People have changed to spend a lot of time on playing a smart phone or a computer. Moreover, since many social applications have been invented such as Facebook or Instragram, many people have become spend more time on communication technologies and ignore to spend time with their family. The causes and effects of the excessive use of communication technologies will be discussed carefully. To begin with, there are many reasons behind this phenomenon. First and foremost, it is unavoidable that technological devices have been used in a work place these days. Many companies have changed the way of communication in traditional ways to technological measures such as sending texts via emails or a mobile phone. Communicating through e-mail can attach important files to many receivers effectively and quickly, as a result many organizations have used this method instead. Moreover, with the high technology of programs and new applications, many social networks such as Facebook, twitters and What-app have been invented to a society. Social networks gravitate towards many people all over the world to share their information and track other people’s lives. The curiosity of other people’s lives increases the number of social network users significantly. All of these points support the idea that why people spend more time on these technologies rather than pay attention to their friends and family. There are many negative effects of this situation. Using communication technologies can definitely be affected the relationship of family. Playing social networks excessively distracts a lot of time that people suppose to spend with their family members. Lacking some precious time with family could be caused to misunderstanding. If family members still do not pay more attention to others and are addicted to social networks, the bond in family members will become worse eventually. In conclusion, even though modern workers cannot avoid from using communication technologies in their professional work, people still need to manage their time to not overuse these programs. Having some valuable time with family members and friends is very essential because it improves the bond of relationship to be stronger, eventually.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world,
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technology
has dramatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
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People
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
to
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spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
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time
on playing a smart phone or a computer.
Moreover
, since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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social
applications have
been invented
such as Facebook or
Possible spelling mistake found.
Instragram
,
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many
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people
have become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. The causes and effects of the excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
will
be discussed
carefully
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons behind this phenomenon.
First
and foremost, it is unavoidable that technological devices have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in a work place these days.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
in traditional ways to technological measures such as sending texts via emails or a mobile phone. Communicating through e-mail can attach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
files to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
receivers
effectively
and
quickly
,
as a result
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
organizations have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
this method
instead
.
Moreover
, with the high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
of programs and new applications,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
such as Facebook, twitters and What-app have
been invented
to a society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
gravitate towards
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all over the world to share their information and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. The curiosity of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
increases the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
users
significantly
. All of these points support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
rather
than pay attention to their friends and family.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of this situation. Using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
can definitely be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the relationship of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
excessively
distracts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suppose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
. Lacking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
could
be caused
to misunderstanding. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
still
do not pay more attention to others and
are addicted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
, the bond in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
will become worse
eventually
.

In conclusion
,
even though
modern workers cannot avoid from using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
in their professional work,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
need to manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to not overuse these programs. Having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
and friends is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the bond of relationship to be stronger,
eventually
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
55Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people spend a lot of time using communication technology What are the reasons for this What is the impact with their families and other people v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
356 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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