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Some people think that secondary school children should study international news as one of the school subjects. Other people think that it is a waste of valuable school time. What do you think? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

Some people think that secondary school children should study international news as one of the school subjects. Other people think that it is a waste of valuable school time. What do you think? v. 1
The potential for the global media to shape the views of today’s youth is considerable. However, while some commentators think that the media has no place within secondary education, other analysts defend the idea that international news should be studied at school. In this essay, I shall examine a number of studies which show that both viewpoints are, to some degree, justified. To begin with, the global media undoubtedly enriches teenager's understanding of contemporary affairs. This is because television reports provide concise summaries of international affairs. For example, a study run by Oxford sociologists showed that the media heavily influenced teenagers’ knowledge of contemporary affairs. Since any secondary school education would be incomplete without an awareness of such events, it is therefore clear that the media can play a vital role in assisting education. On the other hand, many critics argue that teenagers are negatively affected by the global media’s focus on wars and civil unrest. This is because exposure to violence often leads to depression. For example, recent surveys have discovered that depressed teenagers usually cite the dismal state of the world as a source of their depression. Since mental health is an important objective of secondary education, it is therefore questionable whether the study of international news wouldn’t be a destructive and wasteful use of school resource. In conclusion, it should be clear that there are reasons for and against the study of news at school. Thus, if media studies are to enter school in the future, schools will have to think about how negative aspects of the news can be decreased, and positive aspects maximized.
The potential for the global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to shape the views of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s youth is considerable.
However
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
commentators
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has no place within secondary education, other analysts defend the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
should
be studied
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. In this essay, I shall examine a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that both viewpoints are, to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
degree, justified.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
undoubtedly
enriches
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
's understanding of contemporary affairs. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
television reports provide concise summaries of international affairs.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
run by Oxford sociologists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
heavily
influenced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
’ knowledge of contemporary affairs. Since any secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
education would be incomplete without an awareness of such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, it is
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can play a vital role in assisting education.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
critics argue that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are
negatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media’s
focus on wars and civil unrest. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
exposure to violence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
leads to depression.
For example
, recent surveys have discovered that depressed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
usually
cite the dismal state of the world as a source of their depression. Since mental health is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
objective of secondary education, it is
therefore
questionable whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
of international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
wouldn’t be a destructive and wasteful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
resource.

In conclusion
, it should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there are reasons for and against the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Thus
, if
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media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
are to enter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in the future,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
can
be decreased
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects maximized.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that secondary school children should study international news as one of the school subjects. Other people think that it is a waste of valuable school time. What do you think? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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