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Some people think that secondary school children should study international news as one of the school subjects. Other people think that it is a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both views. v.2

Some people think that secondary school children should study international news as one of the school subjects. Other people think that it is a waste of valuable school time. v. 2
When considering what to be taught in secondary school, people are still divided about whether the international news should be one of the official subjects or not. While there are benefits to adding this new channel into the classroom, there are also good reasons why it might be helpful to only focus on current curricula. The statement that international news should be studied at secondary school is strong for several reasons. In terms of social view, it would help students to gain a wider perspective of the world. In this way, youngsters can be widely acknowledged with current affairs so that they could be aware of how to behave properly. Moreover, in the education view, international news accompanied by different academic subjects such as science, literature, mathematics would complete the integrated learning, which provide students with a full development to lead their life in the future. It is, therefore, clear that global updating plays a vital role in assisting education On the other hand, it is also understandable that including international news as a subject in secondary school curricula is definitely irrelevant. First, students are now snowed with a hectic schedule, which may result in overloading if any additions. Moreover, in current education system, especially examination, it places a great emphasis on academic subjects, if students don’t concentrate enough on these qualifications, they might fail. Secondly, the violence represented in many of today's news could affect students' performance. This is because at the secondary school’ age, students are still inexperienced to understand those negative aspects. So the youngsters tend to misjudge the situations and act inappropriately. Therefore, the study of international news would be a destructive and wasteful use of school resource. In conclusion, there are convincing arguments for the study of global news into the secondary school, but it is also reasonable that it shouldn’t add to be an official subject.
When considering what to
be taught
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
still
divided about whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
should be one of the official
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
or not. While there are benefits to adding this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
channel into the classroom, there are
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reasons why it might be helpful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focus on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
curricula.

The statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
should
be studied
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is strong for several reasons. In terms of social view, it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to gain a wider perspective of the world. In this way, youngsters can be
widely
acknowledged with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
affairs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they could be aware of how to behave
properly
.
Moreover
, in the education view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
accompanied by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as science, literature, mathematics would complete the integrated learning, which provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with a full development to lead their life in the future. It is,
therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that global updating plays a vital role in assisting education

On the other hand
, it is
also
understandable that including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curricula is definitely irrelevant.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
snowed with a hectic schedule, which may result in overloading if any additions.
Moreover
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
education system,
especially
examination, it places a great emphasis on academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
don’t concentrate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
on these qualifications, they might fail.
Secondly
, the violence represented in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
could affect students' performance. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school’
age,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
still
inexperienced to understand those
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the youngsters tend to misjudge the situations and act
inappropriately
.
Therefore
, the study of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
would be a destructive and wasteful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
resource.

In conclusion
, there are convincing arguments for the study of global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
also
reasonable that it shouldn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to be an official
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that secondary school children should study international news as one of the school subjects. Other people think that it is a waste of valuable school time. v. 2

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
312 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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