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Governments spend a lot of money on public celebrations such as national holidays and public festivals. Some people say that the government spends too much on this and that they should use this money on other useful things. Do you agree or disagree? v.4

Governments spend a lot of money on public celebrations such as national holidays and public festivals. Some people say that the government spends too much on this and that they should use this money on other useful things. v. 4
One of the most controversial issues these days is whether the governments of various countries should avoid spending on public celebrations. Since I believe such activities are vital for a country’s customs and traditions, I disagree with this notion. To begin with, some people argue that public celebrations are a waste of government resources, especially in monetary terms. They believe such events have no gain and do not contribute to the development of a country; instead, they burden the national treasury. The proponents of this argument state, a country should focus more on its vulnerable areas and allocate funds to improve the dire conditions of its underdeveloped regions rather than spending lavishly on celebrations. Thus, it is clear why people disagree with extravagant government spending’s on national events. Meanwhile, the publicly celebrated events are unique in every country and are a strong indicator of their culture, tradition, and history. In addition, such celebrations have proved to boost the tourism industry. As people travel to other countries to experience different cultures, there is no better way than to plan a visit when public celebrations are in full swing in a host country. For example, 23rd March is publicly celebrated in my country. This day has great significance in the independence of Pakistan; therefore, a national parade is conducted every year with participants from all over Pakistan. People from nearby countries come to enjoy this parade, and it is a great learning experience for the future generations as well. Therefore, it is easy to see why public celebrations are necessary. Having discussed the most pertinent points of the issue, I feel the only logical conclusion is that spending on public celebrations is important for a country. Since the expenses on public celebrations are a drop in the ocean compared to other projects, even if the government ceases to fund such events and shifts that money to solve other issues it would not move the needle.
One of the most controversial issues these days is whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
. Since I believe such activities are vital for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
customs and traditions, I disagree with this notion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
are a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
resources,
especially
in monetary terms. They believe such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
have no gain and do not contribute to the development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
;
instead
, they burden the national treasury. The proponents of this argument state, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should focus more on its vulnerable areas and allocate funds to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the dire conditions of its underdeveloped regions
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
lavishly
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
.
Thus
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
disagree with extravagant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending’s
on national
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.

Meanwhile, the
publicly
celebrated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
are unique in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and are a strong indicator of their culture, tradition, and history.
In addition
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
have proved to boost the tourism industry. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travel to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures, there is no better way than to plan a visit when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
are in full swing in a host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
, 23rd March is
publicly
celebrated in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. This day has great significance in the independence of Pakistan;
therefore
, a national parade
is conducted
every year with participants from all over Pakistan.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
from nearby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to enjoy this parade, and it is a great learning experience for the future generations
as well
.
Therefore
, it is easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
are necessary.

Having discussed the most pertinent points of the issue, I feel the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
logical conclusion is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Since the expenses on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
are a drop in the ocean compared to other projects, even if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
ceases to fund such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and shifts that money to solve other issues it would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
the needle.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Governments spend a lot of money on public celebrations such as national holidays and public festivals. Some people say that the government spends too much on this and that they should use this money on other useful things. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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