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Parenting courses help in children development. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

Parenting courses help in children development. v. 3
It is believed that sessions on parenting helps in the development of children. I totally agree with this trend, and in my opinion, attending such courses will not only leave substantial benefits for children but will also provide a social network for the parents. Parenting courses are beneficial as it gives a deep insight to the parents about different stages of kid's growth. This is to say that people find it difficult to understand the needs and habits of a baby when they become a parent for the first time. Such courses prove fruitful to overcome the stress and anxiety of a new parent. They give sessions on how to satisfy your child in different situations and keep them happy. Moreover, they give a detailed insight of diet the babies should intake which majority of parents are unaware of and this plays a vital role in their upbringing. It has been reported by a recent survey in The Daily newspaper that parenting classes are trending nowadays with 75% attending are the new parents. Consequently, such efforts put up by the parents leaves a positive impact on their kids. Social networking of parents is one of the joys these classes have to offer which has also proven very advantageous to children. In other words, these courses provide a forum for different parents to join and share their experiences and challenges with other people. In this way parents will learn from each others mistakes and will help them raise their child in the best possible way. For example, if a parent is undergoing a certain problem they can connect and seek help from the others who have passed that stage. Thus, people can benefit from each other by attending such classes. To conclude, different trainings and sessions are offered to contribute significantly towards positive child's development, especially for the new parents and for the ones having no guidance at home to raise their child in the best possible way.
It
is believed
that sessions on parenting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in the development of children. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this trend, and in my opinion, attending such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
substantial benefits for children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
will
also
provide a social network for the parents.

Parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
are beneficial as it gives a deep insight to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
stages of kid's growth. This is to say that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
find it difficult to understand the needs and habits of a baby when they become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
for the
first
time. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
prove fruitful to overcome the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and anxiety of a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
. They give sessions on how to satisfy your child in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
situations and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them happy.
Moreover
, they give a detailed insight of diet the babies should intake which majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are unaware of and this plays a vital role in their upbringing. It has
been reported
by a recent survey in The Daily newspaper that parenting classes are trending nowadays with 75% attending are the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Consequently
, such efforts put up by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on their kids.

Social networking of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is one of the joys these classes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
offer which has
also
proven
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
advantageous to children. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
provide a forum for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
and share their experiences and challenges with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. In this way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
will learn from each others mistakes and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them raise their child in the best possible way.
For example
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
is undergoing a certain problem they can connect and seek
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from the others who have passed that stage.
Thus
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can benefit from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
by attending such classes.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
trainings and sessions
are offered
to contribute
significantly
towards
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
child's development,
especially
for the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and for the ones having no guidance at home to raise their child in the best possible way.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Parenting courses help in children development. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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