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Some people think that secondary or high school student should be taught money management because it is an important life skill. Do you agree or disagree with the statement? v.1

Some people think that secondary or high school student should be taught money management because it is an important life skill. v. 1
Financial management is a useful skill that everyone must have. Many people argue that secondary school students should be taught money management at school. I agree with this view. To commence with, teaching teenagers about saving and managing money can help them to understand its value. At this age most of them are already aware of the financial status of their family. They know how hard their parents work to send them to school and provide them other amenities. Also, most children receive some pocket money when they are in high school. If they have money management lessons in their syllabus they will figure out the best way to use their pocket money. These lessons will give children an understanding of the need to budget everything. They will also learn about the functioning of national and international economies. Better still, they will learn to respect the efforts put in by their parents. In addition to this, schools can enhance the money management skills of young people by allowing them to run a canteen or other services inside the school campus. They can also start a saving scheme for students and encourage them to deposit their pocket money in it. Schools should also encourage financially well-off students to help their underprivileged peers by helping them pay their fee or buying them textbooks. To conclude, money management is all about making the best use of the available resources. It takes only a few years for teenagers to become adults and if they did not figure out how to manage their finances at high school, they will struggle as adults when they have to manage everything on their own. Hence, I believe that high school students should be taught financial management. Do you have an essay on this topic? Submit it below in the comments for a free band score estimate.
Financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
is a useful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
that everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
be taught
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view.

To commence with, teaching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
about saving and managing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to understand its value. At this age most of them are already aware of the financial status of their family. They know how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
their parents work to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and provide them other amenities.
Also
, most children receive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
when they are in high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
lessons in their syllabus they will figure out the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. These lessons will give children an understanding of the need to budget everything. They will
also
learn about the functioning of national and international economies. Better
still
, they will learn to respect the efforts put in by their parents.

In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can enhance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
by allowing them to run a canteen or other services inside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
campus. They can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a saving scheme for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and encourage them to deposit their pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
should
also
encourage
financially
well-off
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their underprivileged peers by helping them pay their fee or buying them textbooks.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
is all about making the best
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the available resources. It takes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few years for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to become adults and if they did not figure out how to manage their finances at high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, they will struggle as adults when they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
manage everything on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
Hence
, I believe that high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
be taught
financial management.

Do you have an essay on this topic? Submit it below in the comments for a free band score estimate.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that secondary or high school student should be taught money management because it is an important life skill. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
308 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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