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Some people think that secondary or high school student should be taught how to use money management as a it is an important life skill. Do you agree or disagree with the statement? v.1

Some people think that secondary or high school student should be taught how to use money management as a it is an important life skill. v. 1
Few people think that Junior high institute or senior high academy students must be taught about how to use fund management as it is an important skill to have in lives. I do agree with the statement because, it is a skill which the students should have to manage their growth in the future. Students must be able to manage every penny they have, start from teenagers, as well as have the ability to differentiate between important, and unimportant things to buy. Fund management which must be taught to the students are how to save currency from pocket money, and how making a high priority on things they should buy or not. A finance expert says that saving is an exact way to face something that might happen in the future. Despite of it, saving can be everywhere, not necessary to go to a bank. For instance, In a day Gery gets 10 dollars for his pocket money, he can buy food, and snacks in the school for 3 dollars and save 7 dollars in a piggy bank. If Gery does the way for 25 days, in the future, he will have 74 dollars. It is more than enough to buy his new school uniform without asking for his parents. Saving money for students must be taught how making a high priority of things they need to buy. Learning from small case for examples: a student must buy a biology book while he or she doesn't have An Mp4 Students must know which one is more valuable. In spite of it, a biology book is the highest priority to buy, while mp4 can be bought if he or she has more saving money. In conclusion of the explanation above, I absolutely agree that teaching students of junior and high institute students about how to manage their fund is important because it is a life skill, which they will bring along until they grow up, even become parents. Ways to save currency from pocket money, and make a difference of valuable things to buy and not is very important.
Few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that Junior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
institute or senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
academy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taught
about how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
fund management as it is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
to have in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
manage their growth in the future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be able to manage every penny they have,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
,
as well
as have the ability to differentiate between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
, and unimportant things to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.

Fund management which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taught
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are how to save currency from pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, and how making a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
priority on things they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
or not. A finance expert says that saving is an exact way to face something that might happen in the future.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
it, saving can be everywhere, not necessary to go to a bank.
For instance
, In a day
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gery
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
for his pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, he can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
food, and snacks in the school for 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
and save 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
in a piggy bank. If
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gery
does the way for 25 days, in the future, he will have 74
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
. It is more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
his new school uniform without asking for his parents.

Saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taught
how making a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
priority of things they need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
. Learning from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
case for examples: a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a biology book while he or she doesn't
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
have


Use "A" instead of 'An' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
An
Mp4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
know which one is more valuable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
it, a biology book is the highest priority to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
, while mp4 can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
if he or she has more saving money.

In conclusion
of the explanation above, I
absolutely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of junior and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
institute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
about how to manage their fund is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, which they will bring along until they grow up, even become parents. Ways to save currency from pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a difference of valuable things to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
and not is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that secondary or high school student should be taught how to use money management as a it is an important life skill. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
348 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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