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In light of reasons mention above, I would deny the situation to face with my friends and classmate because i do not wants to lose my friend again and again. Therefore, I would highly recommend try to stay away from competition with friends. v.2

In light of reasons mention above, I would deny the situation to face with my friends and classmate because i do not wants to lose my friend again and again. Therefore, I would highly recommend try to stay away from competition with friends. v. 2
There is no doubt that the human is a socialized animals, everyone needs friends to share their happiness and support when another falls into bad situation. I would say it is not easy to keep a relationship among friends. Some people believed that nothing can destroy a friendship if people are good friends. Personally speaking, I think that competition among friends can hurt the friendship. To begin with, friends lose of trust on each other when they have to expose to competition. When one is eager to be better than another, trust and sincerity do not exist between them. For example, I experienced betrayal from one of my co-worker when I worked as business analyst at consulting firm. Before we worked in the same place, we were good friends. Since my manager announced us we have to work together and we will have an evaluation after this project. Naturally, everyone wants to get better performance and nobody wants to lose from the evaluation. As a result, she betrayed on me for achieveing her goal, climbing to better position. From this experience, I often tell myself do not work with friends because I do not like to lose friendship with anybody again. In addition, I believe that competition leads people to have more self-attention on their own. During the competition, people will refuse to share their things to benefit others. For instance, when I was in the senior high school, my classmates and I had tests frequently. Since teacher started a evaluation of the students based on their score, we began to face each other. Everyone have to fight with their friends to get good grade. In face, no one wants to share their knowledge to others, so the environment of the class got stressed and relationship of my classmate got worse. In light of reasons mention above, I would deny the situation to face with my friends and classmate because i do not wants to lose my friend again and again. Therefore, I would highly recommend try to stay away from competition with friends.
There is no doubt that the human is a socialized
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "animal"?
animals
, everyone needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
to share their happiness and support when another falls into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
situation. I would say it is not easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a relationship among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believed that nothing can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
a friendship if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
Personally
speaking, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
can hurt the friendship.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lose
of trust on each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
when they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
expose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
. When one is eager to be better than another, trust and sincerity do not exist between them.
For example
, I experienced betrayal from one of my co-worker when I worked as business analyst at consulting firm.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
we worked in the same place, we were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. Since my manager announced us we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
together and
we will have an evaluation after this project.
Naturally
, everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wants
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better performance and nobody
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wants
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lose
from the evaluation.
As a result
, she betrayed on me for
Possible spelling mistake found.
achieveing
her goal, climbing to better position. From this experience, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
myself do not work with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I do not like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lose
friendship with anybody again.

In addition
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
leads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have more self-attention on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. During the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will refuse to share their things to benefit others.
For instance
, when I was in the senior high school, my classmates and I had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
frequently
. Since teacher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
evaluation of the students based on their score, we began to face each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. Everyone
The pronoun 'Everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
to fight with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grade. In face, no one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wants
to share their knowledge to others,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the environment of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and relationship of my classmate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
worse.

In light of reasons mention above, I would deny the situation to face with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and classmate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
do not
After the auxiliary verb 'do', use the base form of a verb. Did you mean "want"?
wants
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lose
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
again and again.
Therefore
, I would
highly
recommend try to stay away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In light of reasons mention above, I would deny the situation to face with my friends and classmate because i do not wants to lose my friend again and again. Therefore, I would highly recommend try to stay away from competition with friends. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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