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Some people think that secondary or high school student should be taught how to use money management as it is an important life skill. Do you agree or disagree with the statement? v.2

Some people think that secondary or high school student should be taught how to use money management as it is an important life skill. v. 2
Few people think that cash management is the most important life skill that needs to be taught to students in secondary/high school, while most people think that there are many other important factors such as discipline. In my opinion, I agree that wealth administration is the one of the important life skill factors, which need to be taught to students with other life skills elements. Initially, schooling person need to know the importance of cash as it is the most important factor in the living entity. In School, Teachers need to instruct students regarding the use of currency in our daily life. For instance, the average amount needed for a person to live in Chicago is $1000/month. This gives the information how much the currency is important in regular activity. Secondly, undergraduate needs to know the importance of savings in their life. For example, a person in the USA has a monthly expenditure of $5000/month, then after retirement, he should save the sufficient amount to survive each month. By the example the graduate can get to know the value of cash. In Schooling, Student needs to be taught with different techniques for money management. Finally, In the Secondary school, Pupil also need to know the other important life skills like discipline, time management, etc. Time management should be explained to Pupils as they need to be aware of what sort of things to be done at the right time and student need to know how to behave in the society. A student also have respect for their nation and environment. In conclusion, I agree that money management is one of the most important factors which need to be taught to students in high school as it is an important life skill, while the teacher should also explain the student about their important life skill factors.
Few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that cash
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
be taught
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in secondary/high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, while most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
such as discipline. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that wealth administration is the one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be taught
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
elements.

Initially
, schooling person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
the importance of cash as it is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
in the living entity. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
, Teachers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to instruct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
regarding the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of currency in our daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
, the average amount needed for a person to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in Chicago is $1000/month. This gives the information how much the currency is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
in regular activity.

Secondly
, undergraduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
the importance of savings in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, a person in the USA has a monthly expenditure of $5000/month, then after retirement, he should save the sufficient amount to survive each month. By the example the graduate can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
the value of cash. In Schooling,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
be taught
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
techniques for money management.

Finally
, In the Secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, Pupil
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
like discipline, time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
, etc. Time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
to Pupils as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to be aware of what sort of things to
be done
at the right time and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
how to behave in the society. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
also
have respect for their nation and environment.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
is one of the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be taught
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
as it is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
, while the teacher should
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
59Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people think that secondary or high school student should be taught how to use money management as it is an important life skill. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
305 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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