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Some people think that secondary or high school student should be taught how to use money management as an important life skill, do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people think that secondary or high school student should be taught how to use money management as an important life skill, v. 1
Money management is considered to be one of the most important life skills that people should possess. Some people argued that money management skill should be taught in high school, while others show strong disapproval of such an intention. I strongly agree that schools should put financial literacy lessons in their curriculum. Making financial management lessons as a school subject can be extremely beneficial for a few underlying reasons. First, aiming to give students financial knowledge, schools can give their effort by giving money management lessons in classes. Consequently, students will be equipped with financial management foundation skills, which can help them manage their money wisely. Second, not only can money management lesson can help students to understand the value of money, but it can also raise student awareness of their nation’s economies. These lessons will give children an understanding about their nation economy performance and can increase student knowledge about how saving and investing can be crucial for the economy of their country and their own life. Finally, the skill of financial management is essential when students become adults, especially in the workplaces. Many employers and businesses are focusing on strict financial planning and processes. Therefore, in order to perform in this current world, having the knowledge of money management is crucial and can be a strong advantage for employee career progress. Hence, acquiring this skill from a young age is vital. To conclude, having considered the above arguments. I am firmly convinced that giving students money management lesson can help students in their future life. It can give students deeper understanding about money and the economy as a whole. Besides that, learning this skill from a very young age can help students succeed in their future career.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
is considered
to be one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should possess.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
should
be taught
in high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
strong disapproval of such an intention. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
literacy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
in their curriculum.

Making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
subject can be
extremely
beneficial for a few underlying reasons.
First
, aiming to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
knowledge,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
their effort by giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
in classes.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will
be equipped
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
foundation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, which can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
wisely
. Second, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lesson
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to understand the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can
also
raise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
awareness of their nation’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economies
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
children an understanding about their nation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
performance and can increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
knowledge about how saving and investing can be crucial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
of their country and their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life.

Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
is essential when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
become adults,
especially
in the workplaces.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
employers and businesses are focusing on strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
planning and processes.
Therefore
, in order to perform in this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
world, having the knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
is crucial and can be a strong advantage for employee career progress.
Hence
, acquiring this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
from a young age is vital.

To conclude
, having considered the above arguments. I am
firmly
convinced that giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lesson
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in their future life. It can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
deeper understanding about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
as a whole.
Besides
that, learning this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
succeed in their future career.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
62Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that secondary or high school student should be taught how to use money management as an important life skill, v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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