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Eating too much sugar is harmful for our health. Some people think that it is government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think that it is an individual responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.3

Eating too much sugar is harmful for our health. Some people think that it is government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think that it is an individual responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. v. 3
It is true that excess of everything is bad even it is sweet like sugar. In my opinion, it is the responsibility of both government and individual to put a strict check and balance in the amount of sugar they eat in order to spend a healthy life. (48) We had seen in the past that people always had a moderate usage of sugar. They eat sugar on a daily basis in various food items, but never take overdose. That is why they lived a simple but healthy life. (40) Presently, the amount of sugar we eat every day is surprisingly increased to dangerous levels. This is because of several reasons. For example, children always like to eat sweet items of bakery that consist a high amount of sugar. Similarly, adults also take tea and drinks despite the fact that they contain high amount of sugar. The governments are putting a lot of efforts to overcome this issue. However, it is also the moral duty of every individual to lower the consumption of sugar in order to protect him from certain health issues. (91) The recent development has forced the governments to spread public awareness and pass proper legislation against the overuse of sugar. Thus, individuals also have to check the amount of sugar used in the preparation of any food while purchasing it. Thus, if the governments as well as individuals keep on limiting the amount of sugar they eat, then our new generation will surely be more active and healthy. (68) Hence, in my opinion, it is a team work of both government and individuals which is necessary to limit the amount of sugar that people eat on a daily basis. (29)
It is true that excess of everything is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
even it is sweet like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
. In my opinion, it is the responsibility of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
to put a strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
and balance in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
in order to spend a healthy life. (48)

We had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the past that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
always had a moderate usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
on a daily basis in various food items,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
never take overdose.
That is
why they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
a simple
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
healthy life. (40)

Presently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
every day is
surprisingly
increased to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
levels. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of several reasons.
For example
, children always like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
sweet items of bakery that consist a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
.
Similarly
, adults
also
take tea and drinks despite the fact that they contain high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are putting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
efforts to overcome this issue.
However
, it is
also
the moral duty of every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
to lower the consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
in order to protect him from certain health issues. (91)

The recent development has forced the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
to spread public awareness and pass proper legislation against the overuse of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the preparation of any food while purchasing it.
Thus
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on limiting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
, then our new generation will
surely
be more active and healthy. (68)

Hence
, in my opinion, it is a team work of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
which is necessary to limit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
on a daily basis. (29)
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Eating too much sugar is harmful for our health. Some people think that it is government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think that it is an individual responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
283 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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