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Some people think that rich countries should support poor countries in terms of aid for health care and education. To what extend do you agree? v.2

Some people think that rich countries should support poor countries in terms of aid for health care and education. v. 2
Developing countries have always been wealthy with a large proportion of natural resources, and a higher standard in their public sector. Some people argue that their wealth should be used to help developing countries. In my opinion, I strongly agree with this viewpoint. One major point to note is that helping the poor country will help in developing those countries, this can be done through the help of grants support in their public sector, Education especially will be a huge help when assistance is gotten in this part because this will help train the young people of the city, so they will be able to give back to their society. In addition, this will also lead to a friendship point between the two countries. For example, in a survey carried out, it was discovered that the rate at which the standard of a developing country is increased is twice when they are assisted specifically in the education section. Another benefit to is the trade opportunities this open up between the nation. This opportunity can be available when the countries of lesser standard are exposed to the assistance of the great nations. Chances to export their local products is available which will bridge the gap with other countries. For instance, It was discovered that when developing countries start to export their products, it also raises their standard of living as the majority of them are favoured in farm products which they cultivated. In conclusion, assisting developing countries through their public administration in terms of education and health care will greatly improve the standard of such province. In my opinion, I support that the countries should be helped through their health and education sections.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have always been wealthy with a large proportion of natural resources, and a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
in their public sector.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that their wealth should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. In my opinion, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this viewpoint.

One major point to note is that helping the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, this can
be done
through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of grants support in their public sector,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
especially
will be a huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
when assistance
is gotten
in this part
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
train the young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of the city,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will be able to give back to their society.
In addition
, this will
also
lead to a friendship point between the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For example
, in a survey carried out, it
was discovered
that the rate at which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is increased
is twice when they
are assisted
specifically
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
section.

Another benefit to is the trade opportunities this open up between the nation. This opportunity can be available when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
of lesser
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
are exposed
to the assistance of the great nations. Chances to export their local products is available which will bridge the gap with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For instance
, It
was discovered
that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to export their products, it
also
raises their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
of living as the majority of them are
Possible spelling mistake. 'favoured' is British English.
favoured
in farm products which they cultivated.

In conclusion
, assisting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
through their public administration in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and health care will
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
of such province. In my opinion, I support that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
through their health and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
sections.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that rich countries should support poor countries in terms of aid for health care and education. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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