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Some people think that rich countries should support poor countries in terms of aid for health care and education. To what extend do you agree? v.1

Some people think that rich countries should support poor countries in terms of aid for health care and education. v. 1
Provision of assistance by wealthy nations to nations that are not wealthy, in terms of health and education is necessary. Some people and I are of the opinion that rich countries should assist poor countries due to the inherent advantages of doing so. This will be explained further. There are many reasons why wretched nations need assistance of rich ones, one of such is in the area of health care. Provisions of aids to these nations will help in fighting deadly diseases. For example, Ebola outbreak in Nigeria in 2015. Nigeria was able to defeat the diseases with support from countries such as the USA and the UK. The timely intervention of these giant countries helped eradicate Ebola in Nigeria, thereby preventing a deadly outbreak of the diseases which could have killed millions of people in the country. The outbreak could have also spread to other countries including these two big countries as people are always travelling from one part of the world to the other. Another area where rich countries need to support poor countries is in education. Education helps in liberating people and empowering nationalities of these nations. For example, it is only when people are educated that they will be able to use new inventions such as telephones, cars, laptops, television e. t. c. that are manufactured by the rich nation thereby creating new markets for such products. This will also help in improving their economy. In conclusion, I believe that helping poor countries in terms of health and education will help prevent outbreak of deadly diseases and also create more markets for companies of these rich countries.
Provision of assistance by wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
that are not wealthy, in terms of health and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is necessary.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and I are of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should assist poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
due to the inherent advantages of doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. This will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
further
.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why wretched
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
need assistance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
ones, one of such is in the area of health care. Provisions of aids to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in fighting deadly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
.
For example
, Ebola
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outbreak
in Nigeria in 2015. Nigeria was able to defeat the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
with support from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
such as the USA and the UK. The timely intervention of these giant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
eradicate Ebola in Nigeria, thereby preventing a deadly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outbreak
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
which could have killed millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outbreak
could have
also
spread to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
including these two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are always travelling from one part of the world to the other.

Another area where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
need to support poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in liberating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and empowering nationalities of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
For example
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are educated
that they will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
new inventions such as telephones, cars, laptops, television e. t. c. that
are manufactured
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
thereby creating new markets for such products. This will
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in improving their economy.

In conclusion
, I believe that helping poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in terms of health and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outbreak
of deadly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
and
also
create more markets for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Some people think that rich countries should support poor countries in terms of aid for health care and education. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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