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Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment, only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.31

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment, only governments and large companies can make a difference. v. 31
It is argued that that the people can not affect positively on their habitat, but also either public administrators or big enterprises alone can perform it. I disagree that administrators and firm alone can effect improvement to the territory because the people are closer to their home as well as have the time to execute a project that can boost the surroundings. To start with, the administrators and big organization can not achieve the betterment of the territory due to the fact that they are far from the surroundings. This is because the people have the direct contact to the habitat, which can better their home. Take for instance, my community leaders tend to construct a new road, they contacted public officials and large organisations, but they turn a deft hear to the complain, which lead the people to upgrade the road by themselves. Hence, the surroundings can only be upgraded by the people. Another point to consider is that both the public officers and the large enterprise have less time to affect positively on the territory. In fact, they are busy to concentrate on it, but the people alone have the time to boost it. Take for example, the time spent on gathering documents funds can not be compared but the citizen has enough chances to upgrade territory when they are ready to effect it. As a result of this, projects are being delayed. In conclusion, people would not achieve the improvement of their home, however public officers and reputable organizations alone can boost the habitat. I disagree with this statement because only the citizens are close and have the time to resolve and better their habitat.
It
is argued
Possible typo: you repeated a word
that that
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not affect
positively
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habitat
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
administrators or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
enterprises
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
can perform it. I disagree that administrators and firm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
can effect improvement to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
territory
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are closer to their home
as well
as have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to execute a project that can boost the surroundings.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, the administrators and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
organization can not achieve the betterment of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
territory
due to the fact that they are far from the surroundings. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the direct contact to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habitat
, which can better their home. Take
for instance
, my community leaders tend to construct a new road, they contacted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
officials and large
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organisation' and 'organization') within a single text.
organisations
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they turn a deft hear to the
The word 'complain' is a verb. Did you mean the noun "complaint"?
complain
, which lead the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to upgrade the road by themselves.
Hence
, the surroundings can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be upgraded
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Another point to consider is that both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
officers and the large enterprise have less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to affect
positively
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
territory
. In fact, they are busy to concentrate on it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to boost it. Take
for example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent on gathering documents funds can not
be compared
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the citizen has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
chances to upgrade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
territory
when they are ready to effect it.
As a result
of this, projects are
being delayed
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would not achieve the improvement of their home,
however
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
officers and reputable organizations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
can boost the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habitat
. I disagree with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the citizens are close and have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to resolve and better their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habitat
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment, only governments and large companies can make a difference. v. 31

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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