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Some people think that radio has become out-of-date, and there is no need to listen to the radio for entertainment and news. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people think that radio has become out-of-date, and there is no need to listen to the radio for entertainment and news. v. 1
In the digital revolution, there is a perception that radio industry will be at stake of extinction in the near future if it does not undergo any significant change. From my perspective, I advocate that radio still serves as a beneficial means of entertainment to a variety of audiences. One of the main reasons why radio would not become obsolete is radio acts as an entertaining tool in the car, where drivers are able to enjoy their own favourite music or update congestion via radio while driving is an effective means of taking full advantage of their time. Traffic Update Radio Stations, for instance, keep you informed about upcoming traffic speed information, guide you avoid a traffic jam, and consult the progress of other commuter on the road to see if the congestion is clearing ahead or if the best strategy is to leave the highway. As more and more people become accustomed to the traffic report, the need for radio to up its traffic game has never been greater. It is irrefutable that modern technological tools have several obvious benefits. However, when access to the internet is blocked and phone lines are cut, people can still search the airwaves for trustworthy sources. Even electricity is not a necessity for battery operated and hand-cranked radios. According to UNESCO’s statistics on radio’s impact in Africa, more than two third African said they get news and information from the radio, making it the leader of both media and non‐media sources. Radio broadcasting is said to be the most reliable and affordable medium of exchanging information and knowledge in many communities where access to electricity, internet, and television is not all possible. In conclusion, advances in technology may have led to the emergence of a broad range of media platforms, but it has also made the radio more accessible for populations that lack access to other means of information technology, which is why it is still very much relevant today.
In the digital revolution, there is a perception that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
industry will be at stake of extinction in the near future if it does not undergo any significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. From my perspective, I advocate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
still
serves as a beneficial means of entertainment to a variety of audiences.

One of the main reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
would not become obsolete is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
acts as an entertaining tool in the car, where drivers are able to enjoy their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
music or update congestion via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
while driving is an effective means of taking full advantage of their time.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Traffic
Update
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Radio
Stations,
for instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
you informed about upcoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, guide you avoid a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jam, and consult the progress of other commuter on the road to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
if the congestion is clearing ahead or if the best strategy is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the highway. As more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
become accustomed to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
report, the need for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
to up its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
game has never been greater.

It is irrefutable that modern technological tools have several obvious benefits.
However
, when access to the internet
is blocked
and phone lines are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
still
search the airwaves for trustworthy sources. Even electricity is not a necessity for battery operated and hand-cranked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radios
. According to UNESCO’s statistics on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio’s
impact in Africa, more than two third African said they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
news and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
, making it the leader of both media and
Possible spelling mistake found.
non‐media
sources.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Radio
broadcasting
is said
to be the most reliable and affordable medium of exchanging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and knowledge in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
communities where access to electricity, internet, and television is not all possible.

In conclusion
, advances in technology may have led to the emergence of a broad range of media platforms,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has
also
made the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
more accessible for populations that lack access to other means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
technology, which is why it is
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much relevant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS essay Some people think that radio has become out-of-date, and there is no need to listen to the radio for entertainment and news. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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