Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some high schools require all students to wear school uniforms. Other high schools permit students to decide what to wear to school. Which of these two school policies do you think is better? v.3

Some high schools require all students to wear school uniforms. Other high schools permit students to decide what to wear to school. Which of these two school policies do you think is better? v. 3
High schools are required all students to wear school uniforms and some high schools are required to wear what they prefer. From my knowledge, schools in Sri Lanka, India, etc. Those country’s high schools have proper uniforms identify student’s college and area. Furthermore, the discipline starts from how they dress in institution dress code. It will help to learn how to wear proper and formal clothing. According to my experience, in Sri Lankan government provide free uniforms to students. It must be valuable for students who come from lower income families. Although, some schools are not provided free cloth and students have to buy themselves. Therefore, some students think that is wasting money for buy uniform because they can wear only for the department. If they wear, casual it has multiple uses. Additionally, sometime uniforms are uncomfortable to wear. I believe that uniforms should not be a main part of education. Therefore, it is just an identification of students and also uniforms could not measure quality and learning process. However, the government spends more cash for uniforms but it is kind of wasting. If they spend that capital for school development that would be a great opportunity for students. In conclusion, wearing uniforms has both positive and negative impact as I mention before. In addition to that, need to give a priority to the reputation and the discipline rather than the fund. In my view, high schools need mandatory to wear a uniform.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
High
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are required
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are required
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
what they prefer. From my knowledge,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in Sri Lanka, India, etc. Those country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
identify
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
college and area.

Furthermore
, the discipline
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
from how they dress in institution dress code. It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to learn how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
proper and formal clothing. According to my experience, in Sri Lankan
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
provide free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be valuable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from lower income families. Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are not provided free cloth and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
themselves.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that is
wasting money for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for the department. If they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
, casual it has multiple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
.

Additionally
, sometime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
are uncomfortable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
should not be a main part of education.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
an identification of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
could not measure quality and learning process.
However
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
spends more cash for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is kind of wasting. If they spend that capital for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
development that would be a great opportunity for students.

In conclusion
, wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact as I mention
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
In addition
to that, need to give a priority to the reputation and the discipline
rather
than the fund.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
need mandatory to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay Some high schools require all students to wear school uniforms. Other high schools permit students to decide what to wear to school. Which of these two school policies do you think is better? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
243 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts