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Parents should be held legally responsible for their children’s acts. What is your opinion? Support it with personal examples. v.1

Parents should be held legally responsible for their children’s acts. What is your opinion? Support it with personal examples. v. 1
Nowadays, lots of children have different performance and act learning from school or friends and family. According to their behaviour, it will represent about good and bad side. In addition, children’s acts and behaviours, good manner based on their family background and culture. It will helpful to identify their quality, lifestyle and parents' character. Furthermore, as parents should be held legally responsible for their children’s acts because children always followed their parent's steps, what parents do. Therefore, children always willing to learn thing from their parents due to its right or wrong. For example father is a thief and he has stolen thing belongs to other people, then then his son watching and learning from him apart from that he will slowly start to follow his father’s path. As time went pass his son became a terrible thief in the future owing to his father’s act and perspective. However, the father has a responsibility for his child action and react. Additionally, children’s acts have the correct path as well. Such as, very respectable family with good management and character, there take care their parents and treated well, as far as that family, children watching and following that how their parent treated their own grandparents. As a result of children grow up with that excellent background there will treat their parents the way treated for their grandparents. It will be a right path for the children’s acts and behaviours. In conclusion, my opinion is parents have to legally responsible for their children’s acts. In future children will thankful to their parents to make them better and valuable person in the world.
Nowadays, lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
performance and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
act
learning from school or friends and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. According to their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, it will represent about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
side.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acts
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
manner based on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
background and culture. It
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
will helpful
to identify their quality, lifestyle and parents' character.

Furthermore
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
be held
legally
responsible for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
always followed their parent's steps, what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
always willing to learn thing from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
due to its right or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
For example
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
is a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
thief and
he has stolen thing belongs to other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
Possible typo: you repeated a word
then then
his son watching and learning from him apart from that he will
slowly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to follow his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father’s
path. As time went pass his son became a terrible thief in the future owing to his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
act
and perspective.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
has a responsibility for his child action and react.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acts
have the correct path
as well
. Such as,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
respectable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
management and character, there take care their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and treated well, as far as that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
watching and following that how their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
treated their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
grandparents.
As a result
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
grow up with that excellent background there will treat their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
the way treated for their grandparents. It will be a right path for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acts
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
.

In conclusion
, my opinion is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
legally
responsible for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acts
. In future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will thankful to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them better and valuable person in the world.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Parents should be held legally responsible for their children’s acts. What is your opinion? Support it with personal examples. v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
270 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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