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Some people think that public health within a country can be improved by government making laws regarding nutritious food. Others, however, think that health is a matter of personal choice and responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that public health within a country can be improved by government making laws regarding nutritious food. Others, however, think that health is a matter of personal choice and responsibility. v. 1
Staying healthy is strongly linked to eating nutritious food, which depends upon making correct food choices. Many people hold the opinion that the government should be liable for the implementation of laws regarding the supply of healthy food, while others claim that it's an individual's preference to eat healthy or unhealthy food. This essay will discuss both ideas in detail and will highlight why individuals should decide whether they want to adopt healthy dietary habits or not. Many people believe that the responsibility of sustaining public health lands on the shoulders of the government, mainly because the government has the power to control the excessive use of food that is harmful to its consumers. For instance, the government can put high taxes on the sales of carbonated drinks, tobacco, or other junk items; it would ultimately reduce the consumption of these elements. It would also provide an additional advantage of cutting down of public health costs. However, limiting the availability of food variety would imbibe a feeling of freedom restriction in the citizens, which would lead to resentment and protest among the nationals of a country. Secondly, it would affect the economy of the major industries supplying these junk items. As a consequence, the overall economy of the country would be in question. A better option, to encourage local people toward healthy food, would be to mount awareness programs regarding appropriate food selection and the dangerous effects of consuming an unhealthy meal. To conclude, although the government can make laws and put taxes to improve the dietary habits of its citizens, a healthy population and reduction of health funds are not the only outcomes of it. It could lead to unfavorable social impact and maybe an overall loss of the economic state of a country. Hence, in my opinion, the choice of eating healthy stuff should be left up to well-informed individuals.
Staying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
is
strongly
linked to eating nutritious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, which depends upon making correct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
choices.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold the opinion that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should be liable for the implementation of laws regarding the supply of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, while others claim that it's an individual's preference to eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
or unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. This essay will discuss both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
in detail and will highlight why individuals should decide whether they want to adopt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
dietary habits or not.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the responsibility of sustaining public health lands on the shoulders of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
,
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has the power to control the excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
that is
harmful to its consumers.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can put high taxes on the sales of carbonated drinks, tobacco, or other junk items; it would
ultimately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the consumption of these elements. It would
also
provide an additional advantage of cutting down of public health costs.

However
, limiting the availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
variety would imbibe a feeling of freedom restriction in the citizens, which would lead to resentment and protest among the nationals of a country.
Secondly
, it would affect the economy of the major industries supplying these junk items. As a consequence, the
overall
economy of the country would be in question. A better option, to encourage local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
toward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, would be to mount awareness programs regarding appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
selection and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
effects of consuming an unhealthy meal.

To conclude
, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
laws and put taxes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the dietary habits of its citizens, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
population and reduction of health funds are not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
outcomes of it. It could lead to unfavorable social impact and maybe an
overall
loss of the economic state of a country.
Hence
, in my opinion, the choice of eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
stuff should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
up to well-informed individuals.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that public health within a country can be improved by government making laws regarding nutritious food. Others, however, think that health is a matter of personal choice and responsibility. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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