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Some people think that public health within a country can be improved by government making laws regarding nutritious food. Others, however, think that health is a matter of personal choice and responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion? v.2

Some people think that public health within a country can be improved by government making laws regarding nutritious food. Others, however, think that health is a matter of personal choice and responsibility. v. 2
Few citizens are of the opinion that the ruling authorities of the nation can enhance the public health by enactment on nutritious food. Whilst others experts oppose this and state that it is just a personal choice. This essay will discuss both the views and conclude with my opinion. On the first hand, eating unhealthy food can lead to decrease in public health, so legislators should impose a levy on people who eat this kind of food. Making such rules can increase the public health and also nation can collect a huge amount of wealth by means of tax, and as people visit the hospitals less the funds which are supposed to be spent on health sector can be diverted into other sectors. For example, countries like Italy have imposed an excise on eating junk food which in turn increased the health of their public and also increased the national wealth. However, this approach will break the peace of the society due to frustration that will be caused by claustrophobia. This will lead to the protests and demonstrations which in turn spoils the tranquility of the people and nation. Instead, government should educate people by creating awareness on detrimental effects that are caused by eating unhealthy food and literate the advantages of in-taking natural food. To conclude, although imposing laws such has, collecting a tax on fast foods can decrease the intake of it, this may lead to loss of freedom of an individual. In my opinion, the regulators should well-inform the people about the unwelcome effects that are caused by eating them that will curtail in consumption of processed food.
Few citizens are of the opinion that the ruling authorities of the nation can enhance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
by enactment on nutritious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Whilst others experts oppose this and state that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a personal choice. This essay will discuss both the views and conclude with my opinion.

On the
first
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can lead to decrease in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
legislators should impose a levy on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who eat this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Making such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
can increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
also
nation can collect a huge amount of wealth by means of tax, and as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visit the hospitals less the funds which
are supposed
to
be spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
sector can
be diverted
into other sectors.
For example
, countries like Italy have imposed an excise on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which in turn increased the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
and
also
increased the national wealth.

However
, this approach will break the peace of the society due to frustration that will
be caused
by claustrophobia. This will lead to the protests and demonstrations which in turn spoils the tranquility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and nation.
Instead
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by creating awareness on detrimental effects that
are caused
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and literate the advantages of in-taking natural food.

To conclude
, although imposing laws such has, collecting a tax on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
can decrease the intake of it, this may lead to loss of freedom of an individual. In my opinion, the regulators should well-inform the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the unwelcome effects that
are caused
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
them that will curtail in consumption of processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Some people think that public health within a country can be improved by government making laws regarding nutritious food. Others, however, think that health is a matter of personal choice and responsibility. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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