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Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.7

Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. with this opinion? v. 7
With the advent of technology, it has become cheaper and safer to travel abroad than ever before in the history of mankind, and this has given rise to multibillion travel and tourism industry. Although some people opine that international travelling has created tension and intolerance among people, I am on the firm opinion that tourism is promoting cultural understanding and mutual respect in people’s lives. When people travel outside their own country, they encounter people which have different set of beliefs and values than their own. This change led them to think why people of different origins are behaving in certain way. Foreigners or tourist sit with local people and ask them questions about their life and in result they understand their culture and way of life. For instance, many westerners find it surprising when they see joint family culture in Asian countries like India and China. Later on this change not only broaden their horizon, but also create respect of local people’s value and tradition in eyes of tourist. Tourism not only build cultural understanding, but also tolerance among people from different countries. When people travel abroad to attend sports events like world football cup, world cricket tournament, they sit next to their rivals. In such events, people can release their patriotic emotions of their country in the safest and constructive away through chanting and shouting. At the end of the match both teams and audience appreciate each other effort, and this leads to tolerance and mutual respect. To conclude, international tourism has become a giant industry of modern times. While some people consider that mixing of people from different origin is destructive and unhealthy, I opine that traveling abroad is leading to cultural understating, and tolerance in the lives of public.
With the advent of technology, it has become cheaper and safer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
abroad than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
in the history of mankind, and this has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
rise to multibillion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
and tourism industry. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that international travelling has created tension and intolerance among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, I am on the firm opinion that tourism is promoting cultural understanding and mutual respect in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
outside their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, they encounter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
set of beliefs and values than their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
led them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
origins are behaving in certain way. Foreigners or tourist sit with local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and ask them questions about their life and in result they understand their culture and way of life.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
westerners find it surprising when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
joint family culture in Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like India and China. Later on this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
broaden their horizon,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
create respect of local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
value and tradition in eyes of tourist.

Tourism not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
build cultural understanding,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
tolerance among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
abroad to attend sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
like world football cup, world cricket tournament, they sit
next
to their rivals. In such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can release their patriotic emotions of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in the safest and constructive away through chanting and shouting. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the match both teams and audience appreciate each other effort, and this leads to tolerance and mutual respect.

To conclude
, international tourism has become a giant industry of modern times. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider that mixing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
origin is destructive and unhealthy, I opine that traveling abroad is leading to cultural understating, and tolerance in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of public.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. with this opinion? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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