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Some people think that public health is a responsibility of the government, while others believe that individuals should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.4

Some people think that public health is a responsibility of the government, while others believe that individuals should be responsible for their own health. v. 4
In the current age, whether government should be responsible for public health or individuals should be responsible for their own health has sparked much debate. Some people assert that government should provide better facilities and infrastructure for healthcare. Personally, I agree that individuals should take care of themselves by their own. It is very important for an individual to follow the daily routine in terms of eating, sleeping and exercise. Eating healthy food and on time helps in maintaining a good body. Fresh fruits, vegetables and fish contain large amounts of nutrients in them which helps naturally to maintain blood pressure, cholesterol and sugar levels in the body. Food plays a very vital role in regards to maintaining health safety of an individual. In addition, sleeping on time and exercising are equally important for maintaining good health. A person who sleeps at least six to sever hours a day is considered healthy as it avoids a person to be lethargic during the day or having a headache. Similarly, exercise also avoids a person being lazy during the day. Exercising regularly helps in maintaining a good structure of the body and helps in maintaining the weight of an individual. For instance, individuals who follow the daily set routine of their life of eating healthy, sleeping on time and exercising regularly are more efficient and responsible towards their own health. As a result, individuals can easily be responsible enough towards their own health and safety. On the other hand, government can be responsible for public health and safety in terms of providing better infrastructure, facilities, programs, more qualified doctors. This is only possible if government takes the responsibility by properly investing its tax income towards public health care. Consequently, responsibility of the government is quite limited. In summary, I would concede that governments responsibility towards public health care has some advantages. Despite that, individuals personal health supports much better way. Overall, I am convinced that individuals should be responsible for their own health
In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
age, whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
has sparked much debate.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
assert that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should provide better facilities and infrastructure for healthcare.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
should take care of themselves by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.

It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
to follow the daily routine in terms of eating, sleeping and exercise. Eating healthy food and on time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintaining
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
body. Fresh fruits, vegetables and fish contain large amounts of nutrients in them which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
naturally
to maintain blood pressure, cholesterol and sugar levels in the body. Food plays a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vital role
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
in regards to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
safety of an individual.

In addition
, sleeping on time and exercising are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintaining
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. A person who sleeps at least six to sever hours a day
is considered
healthy as it avoids a person to be lethargic during the day or having a headache.
Similarly
, exercise
also
avoids a person being lazy during the day. Exercising
regularly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintaining
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
structure of the body and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintaining
the weight of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
who follow the daily set routine of their life of eating healthy, sleeping on time and exercising
regularly
are more efficient and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
towards their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
can
easily
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
towards their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and safety.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and safety in terms of providing better infrastructure, facilities, programs, more qualified doctors. This is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
takes the responsibility by
properly
investing its tax income towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care.
Consequently
, responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is quite limited.

In summary, I would concede that
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "governments'" or "government's"?
governments
responsibility towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages. Despite that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
supports much better way.
Overall
, I
am convinced
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that public health is a responsibility of the government, while others believe that individuals should be responsible for their own health. v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
330 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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