Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some People Think That Public Health Is A Responsibility Of The Government, While Others Believe That Individuals Should Be Responsible For Their Own Health. Discuss Both These Views And Give Your Own Opinion. v.3

Some People Think That Public Health Is A Responsibility Of The Government, While Others Believe That Individuals Should Be Responsible For Their Own Health. v. 3
Few people think that providing public health should be government's duty. However, some of them believe that every person must have their own awareness for maintaining good health. In my opinion, it is more likely to be in the hands of the individual than the government organizations. Firstly, ensuring welfare measures for all the citizens in the country is not an easy task. In addition to that, the government has so to invest money in large numbers, and also it requires a special team to look after the process that are to be executed. For example, when we look at a densely populated country like china, it demands lots of time and energy to plan and carry out the process. Therefore, it is impossible to handle the situation without the public support. Secondly, as a responsible citizen we must take the initiative. Moreover, the state of well-being always lies in the hands of the individuals. For instance, the practice of maintaining hygienic health conditions would start from the individual houses, and then it should spread all over other places. Hence, it is very clear that the motive of clean habits should originate from individuals. In conclusion, the main role of following better health practices, lies in the hands of individuals, so it's always better to take responsibilities on their own rather than relying on government. Furthermore, we can get assistance for necessary essentials from the government.
Few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that providing public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's duty.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them believe that every person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
awareness for maintaining
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. In my opinion, it is more likely to be in the hands of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
organizations.

Firstly
, ensuring welfare measures for all the citizens in the country is not an easy task.
In addition
to that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
to invest money in large numbers, and
also
it requires a special team to look after the process that are to
be executed
.
For example
, when we look at a
densely
populated country like
Capitalize this word if you mean the country, not white porcelain.
china
, it demands lots of time and energy to plan and carry out the process.
Therefore
, it is impossible to handle the situation without the public support.

Secondly
, as a responsible citizen we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take the initiative.
Moreover
, the state of well-being always lies in the hands of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
.
For instance
, the practice of maintaining hygienic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
conditions would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
, and then it should spread all over other places.
Hence
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the motive of clean habits should originate from individuals.

In conclusion
, the main role of following better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
practices, lies in the hands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it's always better to take responsibilities on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
rather
than relying on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
Furthermore
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
assistance for necessary essentials from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some People Think That Public Health Is A Responsibility Of The Government, While Others Believe That Individuals Should Be Responsible For Their Own Health. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
236 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts