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Cricket has become more popular than the national sports in the sub continental countries What do you think are the reasons behind this v.2

Cricket has become more popular than the national sports in the sub continental countries What do you think are the reasons behind this v. 2
In the sub-continent nations, national games are less famous when compared to cricket. Once introduced by the britishers, cricket has become the most played and followed sport. I opine that, the primary reasons for its widespread are the financial attractiveness and the inspiration from the pioneers of this sport. Consequently, it is comparitively attractive than a country' s own national sport. To begin with, the amount of money a person can earn is reasoned to be the most impactful consideration when chosing cricket as a career. In other words, sound financial health is a priority for all of the aspiring youth, as it secures the future and takes care of the daily expenses, therefore resulting in a comfortable life. An interesting example of this is, famous batsmen Virat Kohli who is also a synonym for youth icon in India, is Asia' s wealthiest sportsperson according to the Forbes magazine because of his earnings via the game and also the brand endorsments, advertisements he does. It goes without saying that popularity of the sport is definitely due to the economic benefit it generates. Another point to consider is that aspiring players are usually inpired by some legends of the game. To elaborate, successful batsmen and bowlers become idols for people, which in turn converts them either into a fan or a prospective player. To illustrate, Sachin Tendulkar a former player of Indian cricket team is worshiped by some, moreover, it is unbelievable that he also has a temple and a museum dedicated to him. Hence, people love to follow the game as they get startstruck by these legends. To recapitulate, the attractive earnings and inspiration received from famous cricketing personalities are two of the various causes of the mass reach and craziness of this game, over other national sports in the sub-continents. A person is not only attracted by the richness of the players but also, the inspiration given by a master of this sport. Additionally, in some countries cricket is not just a sport, but also a religion.
In the sub-continent nations, national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
when compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
. Once introduced by the
Possible spelling mistake found.
britishers
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
has become the most played and followed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. I opine that, the primary reasons for its widespread are the financial attractiveness and the inspiration from the pioneers of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
.
Consequently
, it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
comparitively
Use "(attractive)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
attractive
than a
Possible spelling mistake found.
country&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
national sport.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the amount of money a person can earn
is reasoned
to be the most impactful consideration when
Possible spelling mistake found.
chosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
as a career.
In other words
, sound financial health is a priority for
Consider using "all the".
all of the
aspiring youth, as it secures the future and takes care of the daily expenses,
therefore
resulting in a comfortable life. An interesting example of this is,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
batsmen
Possible spelling mistake found.
Virat
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kohli
who is
also
a synonym for youth icon in India, is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Asia&
#039; s wealthiest sportsperson according to the Forbes magazine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of his earnings via the game and
also
the brand
Possible spelling mistake found.
endorsments
, advertisements he does. It goes without saying that popularity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is definitely due to the economic benefit it generates.

Another point to consider is that aspiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
are
usually
Possible spelling mistake found.
inpired
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
legends of the game. To elaborate, successful batsmen and bowlers become idols for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, which in turn converts them either into a fan or a prospective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
. To illustrate,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sachin
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tendulkar
a former
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
of Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
team
is worshiped
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
,
moreover
, it is unbelievable that he
also
has a temple and a museum dedicated to him.
Hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to follow the game as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
startstruck
by these legends.

To recapitulate, the attractive earnings and inspiration received from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
cricketing personalities are two of the various causes of the mass reach and craziness of this game, over other national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in the sub-continents. A person is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
attracted by the richness of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
, the inspiration
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by a master of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
.
Additionally
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a religion.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes

IELTS essay Cricket has become more popular than the national sports in the sub continental countries What do you think are the reasons behind this v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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