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No many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes? v.2

No many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes? v. 2
In many areas around the world, the amount of crimes are increasing. For instance, in the last month in Jordan, there were many stealing from banks, post offices and pharmacies. In this essay I will discuss the reasons leading to crimes and a potential solutions to avoid such criminal actions One of the main factors of violation is the rising in taxes. It means that foods and clothes prices will increase. Also, the salaries of employees are not escalating by the same amount of the increasing in living expenses. Those reasons make products cost more and people pay more than they used to buy them. Some people would reach the end of each month and have nothing in their pocket to cover life expenses. In this case, they would go to find other practices criminally to their expense One of the suggestion solution is building a fair taxing system. While taxes applied evenly on both the richer people and the poorer on the same amount, applying different taxes rates based on the total income of each person can solve the problem. Another solution is giving food vouchers or small amount of money to those who income’s are less the average in their countries. These settlements can avoid any criminal actions. Going back to an example I mentioned before, Jordan apply equal taxing system for the rich and poor people which’s unfair to the poor people and lead to an increasing in crimes. Also the increasing in prices of goods because of taxes has the same impact.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
areas around the world, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of crimes
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "is"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'are' is not always incorrect.)
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
.
For instance
, in the last month in Jordan, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
stealing from banks, post offices and pharmacies. In this essay I will discuss the reasons leading to crimes and a potential
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "solution"?
solutions
to avoid such criminal
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
actions


One of the main factors of violation is the rising in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
. It means that foods and clothes prices will increase.
Also
, the salaries of employees are not escalating by the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
in living expenses. Those reasons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
products cost more and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
pay more than they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would reach the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of each month and have nothing in their pocket to cover life expenses.
In this case
, they would go to find other practices
criminally
to their
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
expense


One of the suggestion solution is building a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
taxing system. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
applied
evenly
on both the richer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the poorer on the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
, applying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
rates based on the total income of each person can solve the problem. Another solution is giving food vouchers or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of money to those
Did you mean "who incomes"?
who income’s
are less the average in their countries. These settlements can avoid any criminal actions.

Going back to an example I mentioned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, Jordan apply equal taxing system for the rich and poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which’s unfair to the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and lead to an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
in crimes.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
in prices of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
has the same impact.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay No many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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