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Nowadays, people have developed poor eating habits and do not eat balanced diet. What are the reasons behind this? Suggest possible solutions to control this. v.2

Nowadays, people have developed poor eating habits and do not eat balanced diet. What are the reasons behind this? Suggest possible solutions to control this. v. 2
In this modern era, a large number of people are observed to be negligent of their health as they eat unbalanced diet with no control of their bad eating habits, leading to health related issues later on. This essay delves into the requirement to establish reasons for these poor habits and to develop various solutions to address this problem. To commence with, there are a number of factors responsible for poor eating habits among individuals. One possible reason is that life has become busy nowadays. Nobody finds enough time to devote for preparing food at home which is healthy for human body. Because of this, people are left with no option but to consume fast food. Popularity of fast food restaurants is also growing day by day, adding fuel to this fire. For example, people are bombarded with attractive messages of offers and discounts everywhere apart from the lucrative advertisements displayed on television. On the other hand, adequate solutions are also available to tackle the problem of poor eating habits among people. One such effective solution can be implemented by the government by creating awareness about healthy living. invest money in establishing health centres as well as youth clubs where people can build their physique. Apart from this, individuals can take responsibility of their near and dear ones to encourage eating home prepared food as compared to fast food which can be allowed, for example, once a week. To sum up, eating badly is a serious concern as it directly relates to an individual’s health. Along with the steps taken by government and the positive attitude towards this issue adopted by the people themselves can help in controlling the poor eating habits
In this modern era,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are observed
to be negligent of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
as they eat unbalanced diet with no control of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
, leading to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
related issues later on. This essay delves into the requirement to establish reasons for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
and to develop various solutions to address this problem.

To commence with, there are a number of factors responsible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
among individuals. One possible reason is that life has become busy nowadays. Nobody finds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to devote for preparing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at home which is healthy for human body.
Because of this
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
with no option
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to consume
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Popularity of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
restaurants is
also
growing day by day, adding fuel to this fire.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are bombarded
with attractive messages of offers and discounts everywhere apart from the lucrative advertisements displayed on television.

On the other hand
, adequate solutions are
also
available to tackle the problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. One such effective solution can
be implemented
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
by creating awareness about healthy living.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
invest
money in establishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
as well
as youth clubs where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can build their physique. Apart from this, individuals can take responsibility of their near and dear ones to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
home prepared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as compared to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
,
for example
, once a week.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
badly
is a serious concern as it
directly
relates to an individual’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Along with the steps taken by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attitude towards this issue adopted by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
themselves can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in controlling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
habits
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, people have developed poor eating habits and do not eat balanced diet. What are the reasons behind this? Suggest possible solutions to control this. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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