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Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t. v.7

Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t. v. 7
Each person has one or many role models in his or her life. They prefer to imitate style, method of life and skills from their role models. Professional athletes are also good role models for the people who prefer to watch sports or engage in similar sports activity. People, who have good athletic skills, showcase their talents. They will accept both success and failure in the same manner. This is a very good lesson learnt from professional athletes. People who think athletes as their role model, they will try to imitate that behaviour in their life. Athletes are playing a major role in influencing in other’s life. The example of attending to practice, time management, continuous practice, self-confidence and many more behaviours are learnt by many youngers. This is influencing in both male and female youngsters. At the same time, professional athletes are not the only group of people act as good role models. Good artists, good social workers, teachers, medical staff, government servants also act as good role models in youngers’ life. According to the preferences of youngers, role models also differ. Such as Youngers like to watch more films than sports, then, an actor or actress would be a role model for them. If they prefer to involve in social service, previous leaders on social service would be their role models, examples of Mother Theresa. Likewise, role models are not only from the field of athletes but also from vast numbers of other fields. Anyhow, as per my own opinion, I agree with the statement, ‘some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people while other fields of professionals also make good role models for young people.
Each person has one or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
models
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. They prefer to imitate style, method of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
models
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
are
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
models
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
sports or engage in similar sports activity.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
, who have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
athletic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, showcase their talents. They will accept both success and failure in the same manner. This is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
lesson
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
model
, they will try to imitate that
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
in their life.

Athletes are playing a major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
Adverb repetition. Please, verify.
in influencing in
other’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. The example of attending to practice, time management, continuous practice, self-confidence and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
are
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngers
. This is influencing in both male and female youngsters.

At the same time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
are not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
act as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
models
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Good
artists,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
social workers, teachers, medical staff,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
servants
also
act as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
models
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngers
’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. According to the preferences of
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngers
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
models
also
differ. Such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Youngers
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
more films than sports, then, an actor or actress would be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
model
for them. If they prefer to involve in social service, previous leaders on social service would be their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
models
, examples of Mother Theresa.
Likewise
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
models
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
from the field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
from vast numbers of other fields.

Anyhow, as per my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement, ‘
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
models
for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
while other fields of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
models
for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
56Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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