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An increasing number of people work from home these days and stay in touch with their office using computer technology. v.3

An increasing number of people work from home these days and stay in touch with their office using computer technology. v. 3
Technology is an inevitable part in our life, expecially, in the current scenario. One cannot think of a situation where technology is absent. As a matter of fact, technology is that ‘moral fabric’ which binds the humans together. Due to the technological advancement/development, there have been instances where the human race has benefitted and also has been at the receiving end. One of the technologies which have cut across all the ages of mankind is the Computer Technology. The concept of ‘work from home’, ‘flexible timing’ are nothing but the by-products of this ever changing, revolutionary but useful technology. ‘Work from home’ and ‘Flexible timings’ situations provide the people (read employees) to balance their office as well as personal work. Furthermore, with the help of computer technology, the employees are also able to be in constant touch with their office, from the comfort of their homes. This not only increases the productivity of the employees but also enhances their belongingness and commitment towards their organisation. However, due to computer technology, the employees are approachable throughout the day and sometimes even during odd hours. This may, though not quite often, lead to the breach of privacy, which ultimately results in low productivity by the employee. However, much depends on the environment and mental attitude of the employee. As the same boiling water which hardens the egg also softens the potato, similarly, there are different effects of this computer technology on different employees. A recent case, which was published in the last week edition of a well-known newspaper, had been an eye-opener for working professionals who, though, work from home but stay in touch with their employer due to this computer technology. Due to the work pressure of year closing an employee, who used to work from home over his laptop, of XUA Company didn’t have ample rest for a week. As a result of this, the employee had to pay for his life due to the accident which occurred while driving his family for a late night movie.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
is an inevitable part in our life,
Possible spelling mistake found.
expecially
, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
scenario. One cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of a situation where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is absent. As a matter of fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is that ‘moral fabric’ which binds the humans together.

Due to the technological advancement/development, there have been instances where the human race has
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitted
and
also
has been at the receiving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
. One of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
which have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
across all the ages of mankind is the Computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
. The concept of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
‘work
from home’, ‘flexible timing’ are nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the by-products of this
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ever changing
, revolutionary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
‘Work
from home’ and ‘Flexible timings’ situations provide the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
(read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees)
to balance their office
as well
as personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Furthermore
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are
also
able to be in constant touch with their office, from the comfort of their homes.

This not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
increases the productivity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
enhances their
Possible spelling mistake found.
belongingness
and commitment towards their
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
.
However
, due to computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are approachable throughout the day and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
even during odd hours. This may, though not quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
, lead to the breach of privacy, which
ultimately
results in low productivity by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
.
However
, much depends on the environment and mental attitude of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
. As the same boiling water which hardens the egg
also
softens the potato,
similarly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
effects of this computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
. A recent case, which
was published
in the last week edition of a well-known newspaper, had been an eye-opener for working professionals who, though,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
stay in touch with their employer due to this computer technology.

Due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
pressure of year closing an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home over his laptop, of
Possible spelling mistake found.
XUA
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Company
didn’t have ample rest for a week.
As a result
of this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
had to pay for his life due to the accident which occurred while driving his family for a late night movie.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay An increasing number of people work from home these days and stay in touch with their office using computer technology. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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