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Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don't. Discuss both these points and give your own opinion. v.3

Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don't. v. 3
Rapid globalisation and migration is certainly a worrying challenge, especially in urban cities. This essay shall discuss the possible reasons and solutions of this situation. Perhaps the main cause of increasing population cities is because of unemployment in rural areas. While some people shift to urban areas in search of high paying jobs due to their tagged responsibilities at home, others migrate to enhance their lifestyle according to their capabilities and talent. In developing cities, for instance, labour class is highly required for construction of homes and large buildings, hence, labourers migrate from small villages to big cities. Another major reason is travelling. While some people finds a place to reside near work place, others travel daily to and from, countryside to the city which results in traffic jams and overcrowded public transports. Therefore, urban cities are maybe financially strong but also overpopulated. There are few apparent solutions to tackle this problem. High capacity transport system could be launched, with ameliorated actions and coordinated partnership between public and private industry. For example, if there are adequate public transport facilities between cities and countryside, people could easily move in and move out of the city which will ultimately reduce the emerging traffic on the roads along with increasing non-residents of the city. Moreover, companies should allow their employees to work from home so that they can work effectively without getting tired in travelling. This practice would definitely mitigate the issues of overcrowding in developed and developing cities. To conclude, even though the cities will continue to grow at rapid speed, but with the combined efforts of government and private companies, the issue of intensifying overcrowding could be relieved to some extent.
Rapid
globalisation
and migration is
certainly
a worrying challenge,
especially
in urban
cities
. This essay shall discuss the possible reasons and solutions of this situation.

Perhaps the main cause of increasing population
cities
is
because
of unemployment in rural areas. While
some
people
shift to urban areas in search of high paying jobs due to their tagged responsibilities at home, others migrate to enhance their lifestyle according to their capabilities and talent. In developing
cities
,
for instance
,
labour
class
is
highly
required for construction of homes and large buildings,
hence
,
labourers
migrate from
small
villages to
big
cities
. Another major reason is travelling. While
some
people
finds
a place to reside near work place, others travel daily to and from, countryside to the city which results in traffic jams and overcrowded public transports.
Therefore
, urban
cities
are maybe
financially
strong
but
also
overpopulated.

There are few apparent solutions to tackle this problem. High capacity transport system could
be launched
, with ameliorated actions and coordinated partnership between public and
private industry
.
For example
, if there are adequate public transport facilities between
cities
and countryside,
people
could
easily
move
in and
move
out of the city which will
ultimately
reduce
the emerging traffic on the roads along with increasing non-residents of the city.
Moreover
,
companies
should
allow
their employees to work from home
so
that they can work
effectively
without getting tired in travelling. This practice would definitely mitigate the issues of overcrowding in developed and developing cities.

To conclude
,
even though
the
cities
will continue to grow at rapid speed,
but
with the combined efforts of
government
and private
companies
, the issue of intensifying overcrowding could
be relieved
to
some
extent.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don't. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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