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Do you agree or disagree with this"People in the today’s world have become too dependent on automobiles. " v.1

with this"People in the today’s world have become too dependent on automobiles. " v. 1
It is argued that public servants' personal lives should not be allowed to print in papers. This essay completely agrees with that statement because it could cause various health issues and also deviates from the original work. Politicians’ lifestyle, relationships and where they live are often in the limelight. Disclosure of private life may lead to medical problems, thiss could be true, especially with the persons dealing with anxiety and pulmonary concerns. As a result, they undergo tremendous stress with fear, which can sometimes cause mental disorder or a dreadful heart attack. For instance, Mr. Mathew a notable prime minister of the UK died in 2010 of cardiac arrest while watching the news telecasted on television about his illegal affair with maidservant. Another reason is that Politicians’ lose focus on the official duties and responsibilities need to be performed. They concentrate more on seeking public attention and to win over the opposition. Apparently, their important schedules are compromised and may be occupied in reading articles published about them in the social media, papers and TV resulting in the failure in elections. For example, In 2016 Mr. Modi from India lost by 25% votes for the presidential nomination as a result of deviation from the media during public campaigning. In conclusion, the media and newspapers should not publish articles about personal matters of the politicians because it triggers different health concerns and diverts them from conducting duties. I suggest that media persons should handle with care, keeping in mind about the negative repercussions while printing about the private lives of the politicians.
It
is argued
that public servants' personal
lives
should not be
allowed
to print in papers. This essay completely
agrees
with that statement
because
it could cause various health issues and
also
deviates from the original work.

Politicians’ lifestyle, relationships and where they
live
are
often
in the limelight. Disclosure of private life may lead to medical problems,
thiss
could be true,
especially
with the persons dealing with anxiety and pulmonary concerns.
As a result
, they undergo tremendous
stress
with fear, which can
sometimes
cause mental disorder or a dreadful heart attack.
For instance
, Mr. Mathew a notable prime minister of the UK
died
in 2010 of cardiac arrest while watching the news
telecasted
on television about his illegal affair with maidservant.

Another reason is that Politicians’ lose focus on the official duties and responsibilities need to
be performed
. They concentrate more on seeking public attention and to win over the opposition.
Apparently
, their
important
schedules
are compromised
and may
be occupied
in reading articles published about them in the social
media
, papers and TV resulting in the failure in elections.
For example
, In 2016 Mr.
Modi
from India lost by 25% votes for the presidential nomination
as a result
of deviation from the
media
during public campaigning.

In conclusion
, the
media
and newspapers should not publish articles about personal matters of the politicians
because
it triggers
different
health concerns and diverts them from conducting duties. I suggest that
media
persons should handle with care, keeping in mind about the
negative
repercussions while printing about the private
lives
of the politicians.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay with this"People in the today’s world have become too dependent on automobiles. " v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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