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Some people think that poverty is the reason behind most crimes. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people think that poverty is the reason behind most crimes. v. 1
In my opinion, there is some other way to commit a crime except of indigence between people. However, I agree with idea of poverty so it is one of the important factor to criminality. On the one hand, there is some other reasons to criminal act. Firstly, mental disorders are another factor which must be considered. For example, in UK 50% of criminals are suffering from mental health. Secondly, lack of sufficient education in young generation is another reasons. Actually there is direct link between rate of education parents and crime which result in dire consequences. Thirdly, living in countryside and also environmental of life can effect on people living there. It is likely even might be this places faced with drug dealing. So people should accept the consequences of living in this neighborhoods. On the other hand, I also believe that the most significant reasons of crime is poverty. Furthermore, having financial problems are common between people. This is likely to have detrimental effect on their morality also can lead to crime activity. Undeniably. Recent research has shown that the African people are having economic problems. In a other words the more financial problems the more crime in a way that they are faced with high crime rate due to armed criminal such a these countries. In conclusion, it is true that crime has a number of reasons. But in my opinion, poverty is most significant reason human faced in twenty-first century so that is why most people commit a crime.
In my opinion, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
way to commit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
except of indigence between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of poverty
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor to criminality.

On the one hand, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
to criminal act.
Firstly
, mental disorders are another factor which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be considered
.
For example
, in UK 50% of criminals are suffering from mental health.
Secondly
, lack of sufficient education in young generation is another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
. Actually there is direct link between rate of education parents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
which result in dire consequences.
Thirdly
, living in countryside and
also
environmental of life can effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living there. It is likely even might be this places faced with drug dealing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should accept the consequences of living in
Did you mean "these"?
this
neighborhoods.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, I
also
believe that the most significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is poverty.
Furthermore
, having financial problems are common between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This is likely to have detrimental effect on their morality
also
can lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
activity.
Undeniably
. Recent research has shown that the African
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are having economic problems. In
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words the more financial problems the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in a way that they
are faced
with high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate due to armed criminal such a these countries.

In conclusion
, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
has a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in my opinion, poverty is
Did you mean "the most"?
most
significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
human faced in twenty-
first
century
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that is
why most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
commit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that poverty is the reason behind most crimes. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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