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Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. v. 2
One of the important part of life is a work. In general, work divides on two kinds: paid and unpaid. Some people believe that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community, while others disagree. I think, it has benefit for both the individual teenagers and society; however, people should not restrict the rights of teenagers and use them instead of salary workers. On the one hand, it is a good opportunity for teenagers help the local community. I think, they can find several hours per week to do something; for example, cut the trees, collect garbage or painting fence. In this case, teenagers will know that it is their common home and they will take care about it. Teenagers can meet new good friends to spend their leisure time together. In addition, this work should be unpaid to people to feel the importance of the social part of it. Moreover, the local community can save money for developing their district; for example, they can build new playgrounds for children. On the other hand, the local community can use teenagers instead of hire workers for some kind of works. They can use students in their private aims and save money for themselves. In this case, the government should control the local community and not allow any discrepancy with the law. I think, teenagers should know about all kind of agreed works that they can do for the local community to avoid injustice. In conclusion, it is a good practice to require teenagers for work to help the local community. They will take care about environment and elderly people as well. I think, this type of work should be voluntary to involve more and more teenagers. In addition, the local community should follow the rules and prevent to use of teenagers for their own purposes.
One of the
important
part of life is a
work
.
In general
,
work
divides on two kinds: paid and unpaid.
Some
people
believe that all
teenagers
should
be required
to do unpaid
work
in their free time to
help
the
local
community
, while others disagree. I
think
, it has benefit for both the individual
teenagers
and society;
however
,
people
should not restrict the rights of
teenagers
and
use
them
instead
of salary workers.

On the one hand, it is a
good
opportunity for
teenagers
help
the
local
community
. I
think
, they can find several hours per week to do something;
for example
,
cut
the trees, collect garbage or painting fence.
In this case
,
teenagers
will know that it is their common
home and
they will take care about it.
Teenagers
can
meet
new
good
friends to spend their leisure time together.
In addition
, this
work
should be unpaid to
people
to feel the importance of the social part of it.
Moreover
, the
local
community
can save money for developing their district;
for example
, they can build new playgrounds for children.

On the other hand
, the
local
community
can
use
teenagers
instead
of hire workers for
some
kind of works. They can
use
students in their private aims and save money for themselves.
In this case
, the
government
should control the
local
community
and not
allow
any discrepancy with the law. I
think
,
teenagers
should know about all kind of
agreed
works that they can do for the
local
community
to avoid injustice.

In conclusion
, it is a
good
practice to require
teenagers
for
work
to
help
the
local
community
. They will take care about environment and elderly
people
as well
. I
think
, this type of
work
should be voluntary to involve more and more
teenagers
.
In addition
, the
local
community
should follow the
rules
and
prevent
to
use
of
teenagers
for their
own
purposes.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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