Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that politicians have the greatest influence on the world, while others believe that scientists are. Discuss both sides of view and give your opinion. v.2

Some people think that politicians have the greatest influence on the world, while others believe that scientists are. v. 2
From the beginning of human civilization, our world has had great men and women, be it in a field of science, technology, medicine or politics. We have always looked up to men & women, who have tried and also achieved to make a difference. For some people, they have got inspired by great politicians such as Gandhi, Sardar Patel, Nehru, APJ Kalam, Arthur King and many more. Meanwhile, there's also a section in our culture, who have taken inspiration from Legendary Scientists such as Newton, Edison, Ramanujan etc. And this debate about whether politicians or scientists having higher influence our organization has continued for ages. In my essay, I am going to elaborate on why they think so and also present my perspective on this debate. Many countries around the globe have had to fight against discrimination and independence from the riches and more powerful organizations. It was their leader turned politicians who helped them get over the line with their powerful speeches and showing them the direction in this fight. If we walk back to early 1900's, it was Martin Arthur, King, who helped his fellow black community achieve equal rights and status in a White Dominant America. He eventually went on to become an idealistic politician and is even today remembered with great respect. So, there's a popular belief among certain people that politicians have always led or shown the right path for people to follow ultimately leading to the development of their country. Meanwhile, Science and Technology have always had an impact like no other in the community. Scientists have always commanded respect of the fellow people all around the earth. Through their invention and discovery, Scientists have tried to add value to the lives of people. Be it be the Wright Brothers, who with their invention of Aeroplanes gave wings to the transportation industry. Marie Curie and her team invented various vaccines, which helped cure many life threatening diseases all around the globe. Nikola Tesla admirably overcame adversities and showed the earth the path for a Sustainable Future. Likewise, there have been many examples of Scientists throughout the years showing that with the right amount of dedication and hard work, nothing is beyond reach. In my opinion, Scientists have had much higher influence on the humanity. Kids look up to their inventions and dream of achieving something similar when they grow up. On the other hand, Politicians nowadays have become more materialistic and hungrier for power rather than helping those who elected them. They have become the face of riots, spreading hate, inciting mob while Scientists have gone about their job of helping the country's economy and spreading Love.
From the beginning of human civilization, our world has had great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women, be it in a field of science, technology, medicine or politics. We have always looked up to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
& women,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have tried and
also
achieved to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a difference. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
inspired by great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
such as Gandhi,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sardar
Patel, Nehru, APJ
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kalam
, Arthur King and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. Meanwhile, there's
also
a section in our culture,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have taken inspiration from Legendary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Scientists
such as Newton, Edison, Ramanujan etc. And this debate about whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
having higher influence our organization has continued for ages. In my essay, I am going to elaborate on why they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
and
also
present my perspective on this debate.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
countries around the globe have had to fight against discrimination and independence from the riches and more powerful organizations. It was their leader turned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
over the line with their powerful speeches and showing them the direction in this fight. If we walk back to early
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "1900s".
1900's
, it was Martin Arthur, King,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
his fellow black community achieve equal rights and status in a White Dominant America. He
eventually
went on to become an idealistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politician
and is even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
remembered with great respect.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, there's a popular belief among certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
have always led or shown the right path for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to follow
ultimately
leading to the development of their country.

Meanwhile, Science and Technology have always had an impact like no other in the community.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Scientists
have always commanded respect of the fellow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all around the earth. Through their invention and discovery,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Scientists
have tried to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
value to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Be it be the Wright Brothers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
with their invention of
Possible spelling mistake. 'Aeroplanes' is British English.
Aeroplanes
gave wings to the transportation industry. Marie Curie and her team invented various vaccines, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
cure
Use "much" or "little" with uncountable nouns.
many
life threatening diseases all around the globe. Nikola Tesla
admirably
overcame adversities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the earth the path for a Sustainable Future.
Likewise
, there have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
examples of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Scientists
throughout the years showing that with the right amount of dedication and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work, nothing is beyond reach.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Scientists
have had much higher influence on the humanity. Kids look up to their inventions and dream of achieving something similar when they grow up.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Politicians
nowadays have become more materialistic and hungrier for power
rather
than helping those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
elected them. They have become the face of riots, spreading hate, inciting mob while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Scientists
have gone about their job of helping the country's economy and spreading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Love
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that politicians have the greatest influence on the world, while others believe that scientists are. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
443 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts