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It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2
What does it come to your mind when you hear the word alteration? Of course, the word itself mean by far fewer things than the proccess of change itsself. Actually, even though when we leave the stantarts in order to adopt something new has significant benefits, this phenomenon has also a negative points than must be considered. I am of the opinion that the merits outmatch the disadvatages. On one hand, this activity has many benefits to offer. The most prominent, to my mind, is that we follow the ambiance. Times obviously change and we should adopt to this if we want to remain familiar with circumstances. The most glaring example is the advent of computer. Some workers, predominantly seniors, are afraid of using this machine to work and they prefer other obsolete methods. They will definitely face difficulties with their employer or their clients. Furthermore, there is another equally as advantageous point. To be precise, changes quite often lead to refreshment. I thoroughly agree that there is nothing worse than a mundane routine. Small changes in work, such as when we try to learn a new skill, or even smaller changes, like a new wallpaper in mobile phone, give us a sence of refreshment as we evade to have a repetitive life, like robots. On the other hand, there is a filp side, though. The most alarming drawback, in my opinion, is orininallity. To put it another way, we lose the identity in some cases. Simply put, many vast changes have been to the detriment of local customs and traditional ethics. For example, changes of trends in clothes have dominated some local tradiotional suits in my country. Moreover, there is one other concern, every bit as negative. To be specific, is risk. Changes hide dangers some times which they do more harm that good at all. A characteristic example is when new alternative methods of enegy had brought out; many people rushed to invest in this promising change before more efficient types emerged. Hence, they lost significant assets. Taking all the aforementioned into consideration, even though change has its pros, we should never underestimate its cons. As far as I am concerned, even taking into account the negatives, the benefits have more things to offer. Since we live in an ever-changing society and we should follow the spirit of the times if we do not want to leave behind.
What does it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to your mind when you hear the word alteration?
Of course
, the word itself mean by far fewer things than the
Possible spelling mistake found.
proccess
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
Possible spelling mistake found.
itsself
. Actually,
even though
when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
stantarts
in order to adopt something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
has significant benefits, this phenomenon has
also
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
points than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be considered
. I am of the opinion that the merits outmatch the
Possible spelling mistake found.
disadvatages
.

On one hand, this activity has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits to offer. The most prominent, to my mind, is that we follow the ambiance. Times
obviously
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
change and
we should
Did you mean "adapt to"?
adopt to
this if we want to remain familiar with circumstances. The most glaring example is the advent of computer.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
workers,
predominantly
seniors, are afraid of using this machine to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
work and
they prefer other obsolete methods. They will definitely face difficulties with their employer or their clients.
Furthermore
, there is another
Use either "equally" or "as" on its own. When comparing two nouns, use "just as".
equally as
advantageous point. To be precise,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
lead to refreshment. I
thoroughly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that there is nothing worse than a mundane routine.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in work, such as when we try to learn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, or even smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
, like a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
wallpaper in mobile phone, give us a
Possible spelling mistake found.
sence
of refreshment as we evade to have a repetitive life, like robots.

On the other hand
, there is a
Possible spelling mistake found.
filp
side, though. The most alarming drawback, in my opinion, is
Possible spelling mistake found.
orininallity
. To put it another way, we lose the identity in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases.
Simply
put,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
vast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
have been to the detriment of local customs and traditional ethics.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
of trends in clothes have dominated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
local
Possible spelling mistake found.
tradiotional
suits in my country.
Moreover
, there is one other concern, every bit as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
. To be specific, is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Changes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
times which they do more harm that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at all. A characteristic example is when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
alternative methods of
Possible spelling mistake found.
enegy
had brought out;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
rushed to invest in this promising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
more efficient types emerged.
Hence
, they lost significant assets.

Taking all the aforementioned into consideration,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
has its pros, we should never underestimate its cons. As far as I
am concerned
, even taking into account the negatives, the benefits have more things to offer. Since we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in an ever-changing
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
society and
we should follow the spirit of the times if we do not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
behind.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
400 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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