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Compare these views. Politicians have the greatest influence on the world. Scientists make the greatest contribution to the world. What do you agree with? v.1

Compare these views. Politicians have the greatest influence on the world. Scientists make the greatest contribution to the world. What do you agree with? v. 1
The development in a society takes place with the help of great leaders as well as scientists. It has been a debatable issue wheather researchers are the most influential people in the community or the politicians. However, in this essay I will discuss both the viewpoints before reaching to the final verdict. On the one hand, political parties implementation rules and regulations for the betterment of the nation. In other words, they make regulations for people, which helps to maintain the social harmony. Because of they dominating power on people that helps to obey the norms. Not only they work for the progress of the nation, but also they treat all citizens on equivalent based. A classical example for this, Sardar Vallabhbhai Patel had made equal rule for Indians to solve problems of casteism and a consequence of this, this rule removed problem of discrimination. Another aspect for this, great leaders assist for expansion the businesses. This is because they signed agreements and treaties for the holistic development of the commercial sectors. Since they build strong relationships with other countries, the economical growth is augments to a larger extent. Thus, political parties stimulate the economy. On the another hand, scientists have the colossal impact on the masses. First and foremost reason for this, they save human's life. To elaborate, researchers invent medication and vaccination for the diseases, which alleviates the chance of death. Along with this, there are vaccines that are vital for growth of people, and medicines reduce illnesses. A recent survey has been conducted by the World Health Organization reveals that more than 68% of people who have polio vaccination, they have minimal changes of paralysis attack. Secondly, the invention and innovative in the field of technology makes life more convenient. The reason behind this, with support of technical equipments such as mobile and laptops make work feasible and at the same time people can stay connected with eachother with ease. Along with this, people can easily transfer their work to others via computer programmings, which reduce the burden of manual work. Hence, the death troll is decreased and lifes become more sustainable. In conclusion, it is truly said that scientists have be contributed more to the world in comparison to political people. Nonetheless, as per my opinion, l belive that scientists have save thousands of lives, and they have make our life easier in teams of health and technology, which are the biggest contribution to the country for the better future.
The development in a society takes place with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of great leaders
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
. It has been a debatable issue
Possible spelling mistake found.
wheather
researchers are the most influential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the community or the politicians.
However
, in this essay I will discuss both the viewpoints
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching to the final verdict.

On the one hand, political parties implementation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations for the betterment of the nation.
In other words
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
regulations for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to maintain the social harmony.
Probable usage error. Use "Because they" instead.
Because of they
dominating power on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to obey the norms. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for the progress of the nation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they treat all citizens on equivalent based. A classical example for this,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sardar
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vallabhbhai
Patel had made equal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
for Indians to solve problems of
Possible spelling mistake found.
casteism
and a consequence of this, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
removed problem of discrimination. Another aspect for this, great leaders assist for expansion the businesses. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they signed agreements and treaties for the holistic development of the commercial sectors. Since they build strong relationships with other countries, the
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
growth is augments to a larger extent.
Thus
, political parties stimulate the economy.

On the another hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
have the colossal impact on the masses.
First
and foremost reason for this, they save human's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. To elaborate, researchers invent medication and vaccination for the diseases, which alleviates the chance of death. Along with this, there are vaccines that are vital for growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and medicines
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
illnesses. A recent survey has
been conducted
by the World Health Organization reveals that more than 68% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have polio vaccination, they have minimal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
of paralysis attack.
Secondly
, the invention and innovative in the field of technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more convenient. The reason behind this, with support of technical equipments such as mobile and laptops
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
feasible and at the same time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can stay connected with
Possible spelling mistake found.
eachother
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
. Along with this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
transfer their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to others via computer programmings, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the burden of manual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Hence
, the death troll
is decreased
and
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "lives", the plural form of the noun 'life'?
lifes
become more sustainable.

In conclusion
, it is
truly
said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
have
be contributed
more to the world
in comparison
to political
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Nonetheless, as per my opinion, l
Possible spelling mistake found.
belive
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
have save thousands of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, and they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
easier in teams of health and technology, which are the biggest contribution to the country for the better future.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Compare these views. Politicians have the greatest influence on the world. Scientists make the greatest contribution to the world. What do you agree with? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
414 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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