Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that politicians have the greatest influence on the world. Other people, however, believe that scientists have the greatest influence. v.2

Some people think that politicians have the greatest influence on the world. Other people, however, believe that scientists have the greatest influence. v. 2
There is no doubt that both politicians and scientists are exerting a powerful influence in our world; while politicians tend to lead a country by establishing better laws and treaties and governing their country well in all fields, scientists tend to reshape the world by developing high technology. Obviously, no country would proceed well without the influential of politicians who represent a country’s image and status on the international stage. They need to confer together to make feasible treaties which decide the commerce between two different countries. Only when the top heads come to an agreement will there be a possibility for expanding international market, which constitutes an indispensable part of a country’s economy in today’s open world. Thus, there is no denial that the world’s prosperity is contingent on how well politicians from different countries cooperate. On the other hand, scientists have been a forceful team to drive the world to progress and provide technical support for politicians to defend a country, which is one of the most important symbols to represent national strength. High technologies developed by scientists have been applied in military, exploring outer space etc, which cannot be achieved only by the power of politicians. However, the high technology could be a disaster if there are no effective and potent laws legislated by politicians. That’s why heads of six states need to come together to defuse the Korean nuclear crisis. In conclusion, politicians and scientists are changing our world in different ways and neither is less influential. Without perfect laws and regulations, high technology may be used in a wrong way leading to a catastrophe; and politicians may not be so powerful if they lacked the support of scientists.
There is no doubt that both
politicians
and
scientists
are exerting a powerful influence in our
world
; while
politicians
tend to lead a
country
by establishing better laws and treaties and governing their
country
well in all fields,
scientists
tend to reshape the
world
by developing
high
technology.

Obviously
, no
country
would proceed well without
the influential of
politicians
who represent a
country’s
image and status on the international stage. They need to confer together to
make
feasible treaties which decide the commerce between two
different
countries
.
Only
when the top heads
come
to an agreement will there be a possibility for expanding international market, which constitutes an indispensable part of a
country’s
economy in
today
’s open
world
.
Thus
, there is no denial that the
world’s
prosperity is contingent on how well
politicians
from
different
countries
cooperate.

On the other hand
,
scientists
have been a forceful team to drive the
world
to progress and provide technical support for
politicians
to defend a
country
, which is one of the most
important
symbols to represent national strength.
High
technologies developed by
scientists
have
been applied
in military, exploring outer space etc, which cannot
be achieved
only
by the power of
politicians
.
However
, the
high
technology could be a disaster if there are no effective and potent laws legislated by
politicians
. That’s why heads of six states need to
come
together to defuse the Korean nuclear crisis.

In conclusion
,
politicians
and
scientists
are changing our
world
in
different
ways and neither is less influential. Without perfect laws and regulations,
high
technology may be
used
in a
wrong
way leading to a catastrophe; and
politicians
may not be
so
powerful if they lacked the support of
scientists
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that politicians have the greatest influence on the world. Other people, however, believe that scientists have the greatest influence. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts