Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that planting trees in open space in cities and towns is more important than building houses. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people think that planting trees in open space in cities and towns is more important than building houses. v. 2
Whether to plant trees in the open areas in distinct urban places or not has become a controversial issue. While some people believe that numerous plants should be grown, others think houses should be constructed in those regions. I, however, believe that both are equally significant for the well-being of the society. To begin with, the advocates of planting trees are in favour of this opinion because of the increasing pollution problems. They opine that growing plenty of flora would be perhaps the best solution to tackle the current situation of contaminated air. Since these acts as a good absorbent of carbon dioxide, which is mainly responsible for the global, thus plantation of thousands of saplings in unused land can reduce the intensity of toxic gases in the atmosphere. For instance, a recent research about the pollutant density in the environment in metropolitan cities is quite threatening for the whole human race, which indicates that quality of air is not suitable to inhale. Therefore, in order to improve the quality of gases, which we inhale, development of green belts is necessary. On the other hand, the opponents of the argument claim that the construction of houses are much more significant. This might be possible because of the migration of the people from the countryside area to the towns which has ultimately added to the population of the urban locality. If there would be no homes, then individuals will suffer in the scarcity of resources. In the capital city of my country, for example, where employment opportunities are abundantly available, population density is quite high, which in turn, has reduced the residential space. Thus, I agree with the opinion that building of homes is essential instead of planting trees everywhere. To conclude, despite of the different opinions of the community regarding the utilisation of empty spaces in the developing part of the country, I think a balanced approach should be adopted towards the growth of the trees and establishment of houses.
Whether to plant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
in the open areas in distinct urban places or not has become a controversial issue. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that numerous plants should
be grown
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
should
be constructed
in those regions. I,
however
, believe that both are
equally
significant for the well-being of the society.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the advocates of planting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
are in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the increasing pollution problems. They opine that growing
Possible agreement error. The noun flora seems to be countable; consider using: "plenty of florae", "plenty of floras".
plenty of flora
would be perhaps the best solution to tackle the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation of contaminated air. Since these acts as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
absorbent of carbon dioxide, which is
mainly
responsible for the global,
thus
plantation of thousands of saplings in unused land can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the intensity of toxic gases in the atmosphere.
For instance
, a recent research about the pollutant density in the environment in metropolitan cities is quite threatening for the whole human race, which indicates that quality of air is not suitable to inhale.
Therefore
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of gases, which we inhale, development of green belts is necessary.

On the other hand
, the opponents of the argument claim that the construction of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
are much more significant. This might be possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the migration of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from the countryside area to the towns which has
ultimately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to the population of the urban locality. If there would be no homes, then individuals will suffer in the scarcity of resources. In the capital city of my country,
for example
, where employment opportunities are
abundantly
available, population density is quite high, which in turn, has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the residential space.
Thus
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the opinion that building of homes is essential
instead
of planting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
everywhere.

To conclude
,
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions of the community regarding the
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilisation' is British English.
utilisation
of empty spaces in the developing part of the country, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
a balanced approach should
be adopted
towards the growth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
and establishment of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that planting trees in open space in cities and towns is more important than building houses. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts