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Universities should allocate the same amount of money to students' sports activities as they allocate to their libraries. To what extent do you agree with this view? v.11

Universities should allocate the same amount of money to students' sports activities as they allocate to their libraries. v. 11
Universities are places of higher learning in every field, which includes sports. However, there are some who believe that sports activities at the university level should not be given the same amount of monetary support as libraries. Furthermore, I believe that sports activities are as important as libraries. Firstly, A common adage illustrating my perspective is, a healthy mind in a healthy body. Moreover, Games cannot be conducted just by including them in the curricula. As a result, It needs commitment and action resulting in hiring coaches; providing facilities, amenities & supplies; networking; and participation in sporting events. In such a scenario, a student enrolling in a sport as part of his university education has a wholesome experience of fitness, discipline, a winning attitude and sportsmanship, as which he can only read about in the library. Secondly, People who support the thinking that funding for sporting activities has to be reduced believe that sports will distract students from the primary goal of acing in academics. Burying his head in books is not enough for a student to excel. Although, It will only make him a bookworm, give him a headache, a bad posture, and an inability to be practical. On the other hand, indulging in sports activities is a scientifically proven way of accelerating blood circulation to all parts of the body, especially the brain, which sustains the brain for the work it needs to do in the library. Finally, It will also add good posture and real life experiences with teammates, as well as we will go a long way to make him a successful human being. In conclusion, I agree that libraries and sports should be treated equally by universities, where funding them is concerned. Therefore, to summarize, Moreover, let me give you an example.
Universities
are places of higher learning in every field, which includes
sports
.
However
, there are
some
who believe that
sports
activities
at the
university
level should not be
given
the same amount of monetary support as libraries.
Furthermore
, I believe that
sports
activities
are as
important
as libraries.

Firstly
, A common adage illustrating my perspective is, a healthy mind in a healthy body.
Moreover
, Games cannot
be conducted
just
by including them in the curricula.
As a result
, It needs commitment and action resulting in hiring coaches; providing facilities, amenities & supplies; networking; and participation in sporting
events
. In such a scenario, a student enrolling in a
sport
as part of his
university
education has a wholesome experience of fitness, discipline, a winning attitude and sportsmanship, as which he can
only
read about in the library.

Secondly
,
People
who support the thinking that funding for sporting
activities
has to
be
reduced
believe that
sports
will distract students from the primary goal of acing in academics. Burying his head in books is not
enough
for a student to excel. Although, It will
only
make
him a bookworm, give him a headache, a
bad
posture, and an inability to be practical.
On the other hand
, indulging in
sports
activities
is a
scientifically
proven way of accelerating blood circulation to all parts of the body,
especially
the brain, which sustains the brain for the work it needs to do in the library.
Finally
, It will
also
add
good
posture and real life experiences with teammates,
as well
as we will go a long way to
make
him a successful human being.

In conclusion
, I
agree
that libraries and
sports
should
be treated
equally
by
universities
, where funding them
is concerned
.
Therefore
,
to summarize
,
Moreover
,
let
me give you an example.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Universities should allocate the same amount of money to students' sports activities as they allocate to their libraries. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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