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Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer. v. 276 v.31

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer. v. 276 v. 31
According to some people, they believe that engaging in some activities with children, improve their creativity rather than reading books. In my opinion, I strongly agree that parents who spend more time in their child’s play, raise successful and fast learning kids. It is generally claimed that, through early childhood reading, babies can learn their language faster; therefore, parents invest more time in reading stories to babies. Even though we cannot deny the pros of reading habit; however fun games and other types of physical work come to the top of the list to improve their versatile skills. For example, the famous site called Babycenter reveals the most successful parents’ stories, who were succeeded in raising intelligent babies. They claim that, some early educational toys help to achieve fine motor skills and cognitive abilities, sooner than the average babies. It is clearly depicted that there are a variety of tasks we can introduce to our offsprings to target and procure the milestones on point. Secondly, reading can be boring to some kids; especially; when they are more active, they expect to move around and explore the surrounding. For instance, puzzle games and building blocks keep them entertained for a long time, and help to reveal their hidden talents in the early years. Likewise, if we provide some music books and story telling toys with buttons and colourful designs, those would be some amazing gifts for brainy children. To sum up, there are plenty of indoor activities for children, instead of insisting them to sit and read. Parents who have more exposure to social media are correcting themselves and trying to apply practical solutions to raise them right.
According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, they believe that engaging in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
activities with children,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their creativity
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
books. In my opinion, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who spend more time in their child’s play, raise successful and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
learning kids.

It is
generally
claimed that, through early childhood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
babies
can learn their language faster;
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
invest more time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
stories to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
babies
.
Even though
we cannot deny the pros of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
habit;
however
fun games and other types of physical work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the top of the list to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their versatile
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For example
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
site called
Possible spelling mistake found.
Babycenter
reveals the most successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
stories, who
were succeeded
in raising intelligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
babies
. They claim that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
early educational toys
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to achieve fine motor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and cognitive abilities, sooner than the average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
babies
. It is
clearly
depicted that there are a variety of tasks we can introduce to our
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
to target and procure the milestones on point.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
can be boring to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kids;
especially
; when they are more active, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
around and explore the surrounding.
For instance
, puzzle games and building blocks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them entertained for a long time, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to reveal their hidden talents in the early years.
Likewise
, if we provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
music books and story telling toys with buttons and
Possible spelling mistake. 'colourful' is British English.
colourful
designs, those would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
amazing gifts for brainy children.

To sum up, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of indoor activities for children,
instead
of insisting them to sit and read.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
who have more exposure to social media are correcting themselves and trying to apply practical solutions to raise them right.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer. v. 276 v. 31

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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