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Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.7

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. v. 7
It is argued that to be a star in a specific sport it is more important to take care of your body and build more muscles than increasing your mental ability. I disagree with that opinion and in this essay, I will write about why I'm against that statement. I believe having a strong body is not the key answer to be successful in any sport because you must learn more about the game you are playing. In other words, reading books related to whatever you want to d, watching a lot of games to learn more strategies. This all is going to practice your brain to work in parallel with your body during exercising and in actual important games. For example, I have watched a movie about a kid who was dreaming to be the best volleyball player in Japan. He has not only exercised to build a bigger muscle mass and to jump higher than anybody else, he spent 2 hours every day to learn more about the game's techniques. Thus, providing your mind with more information about the sport you are aiming to be on its top is crucial. Improving the biological state alone is not enough to be the greatest player you must improve yourself psychologically. So, being able to hold your nerves during the game and to not collapse if the score is not your side is essential you might be able to flip the table and win the game just because you were calm and collected. As a summary, a huge body alone is not enough for success, having a strong mentality is useful. To do so understand more about what you are playing and with whom.
It
is argued
that to be a star in a specific sport it is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to take care of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
and build more muscles than increasing your mental ability. I disagree with that opinion and in this essay, I will write about why I'm against that statement.

I believe having a strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
is not the key answer to be successful in any sport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
learn more about the game you are playing.
In other words
, reading books related to whatever you want to d, watching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
to learn more strategies. This all is going to practice your brain to work in parallel with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
during exercising and in actual
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
For example
, I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
a movie about a kid who was dreaming to be the best volleyball player in Japan. He has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
exercised to build a bigger muscle mass and to jump higher than anybody else, he spent 2 hours every day to learn more about the game's techniques.
Thus
, providing your mind with more information about the sport you are aiming to be on its top is crucial.

Improving the biological state alone is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to be the greatest player you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
yourself
psychologically
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, being able to hold your nerves during the game and to not collapse if the score is not your side is essential you might be able to flip the table and win the game
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you were calm and collected.

As a summary, a huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
alone is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for success, having a strong mentality is useful. To do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
understand more about what you are playing and with whom.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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