Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.5

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. v. 5
Although, many people think that having tough physical can lead to be success in all kind of sport, whereas other people think that mental strength do the important job to get successful. Thus, this essay will illustrate both two views and I will state my opinions. In order to success in sport, the most important thing is that you need to have a very strong body. Your physical strength is the basic need of doing exercises. You cannot be an athlete unless you are a powerful person. For instance, you are a swimmer but your physical health is not good compare to other swimmers. So, to matter how hard you train yourself, you can't be the best swimmer. In short, the more forceful you are, the better you can performed in sports. On the other hand, only have the physical strength is not enough, you must also have great mental strength. If your mental health is stable, you will be very calm in any competition your compete. You won't feel the pressure and you can handle all the problem and obstacle that you meet. For example, you are a dancer and you're both hard work and intelligent, so even if you are about to make some mistakes you can correct yourself right away. Hence, mental strength is necessary for all your sport performances. In conclusion, to success in sport, an athlete most have both physical and mental strength to tough and also thoughtful. In my opinion, both strengths are equally essential and they are all required for the athletic quality.
Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that having tough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
can lead to be success in all kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, whereas other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
do the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
job to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
successful.
Thus
, this essay will illustrate both two views and I will state my opinions.

In order to success in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing is that you need to have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strong body. Your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
is the basic need of doing exercises. You cannot be an athlete unless you are a powerful person.
For instance
, you are a swimmer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
health is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
compare to other swimmers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, to matter how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
you train yourself, you can't be the best swimmer. In short, the more forceful you are, the better you can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "perform"
performed
in sports.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
have great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
. If your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
health is stable, you will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
calm in any competition your compete. You won't feel the pressure and you can handle all the problem and obstacle that you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
.
For example
, you are a dancer and you're both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and intelligent,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
even if you are about to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mistakes you can correct yourself right away.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
is necessary for all your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
performances.

In conclusion
, to success in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, an athlete most have both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
to tough and
also
thoughtful. In my opinion, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strengths
are
equally
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
essential and
they are all required for the athletic quality.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts