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In the last 20 years, there have been significant developments in the field of information technology v.1

The invention, developments and usage of information technology arises as almost people are interested in involving it in everyday of their lives. Unfortunately, the negative effects of this improvements in IT might outweigh the positive side throughout the years that will come. Personally, I totally agree on this point of view and as we go along with this essay, we will tackle the various effects that might happen in the future. We cannot deny the fact that developments in information technology like the inventions of computers and laptop helps the people to make their work quicker and faster, easier access to files and individuals can do there job wherever they are as long as there is an internet connection. Moreover, the rise of demand of information technology shares a huge proportion in the economic growth of the country as well. Aside from that, most children and young adults are knowledgeable in this aspect, which makes them competitive and more confident as they go along with there choosen career. On the other hand, negative effects come up as the demand of usage of information technology rises. Most people rely much to this developments that they almost neglect the old good ways of writing and reading. Furthermore, lesser socialization comes in because of long hours of sitting in front of the computers, laptops and mobile phones. Longer usage means higher radiation exposure which contributes to the health deterrioration of the user. Moreover, exposure to prohibited videos are higher especially to the children; which should be guided by the parents to prevent further problems in the future. To sum it up, information technology development brings people both positive and negative effects. If negative side will rocketed, individuals must be responsible for this effect; thus, all improvements must be use in moderation.
The invention,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
and usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
arises as almost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are interested
in involving it in
‘Everyday’ is an adjective. Did you mean “every day”?
everyday
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Unfortunately, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
effects of
‘This’ does not seem to match the plural noun ‘improvements’. Did you mean “these”?
this
improvements in IT might outweigh the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side throughout the years that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.
Personally
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
on this point of view and as we go along with this essay, we will tackle the various effects that might happen in the future.

We cannot deny the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
like the inventions of computers and laptop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their work quicker and faster, easier access to files and individuals can do there job wherever they are as long as there is an internet connection.
Moreover
, the rise of demand of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
shares a huge proportion in the economic growth of the country
as well
. Aside from that, most children and young adults are knowledgeable in this aspect, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them competitive and more confident as they go along with there
Possible spelling mistake found.
choosen
career.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
effects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up as the demand of usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
rises. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
The verb ‘to rely’ requires the preposition ‘(up)on’: “rely on”.
rely
much to
‘This’ does not seem to match the plural noun ‘developments’. Did you mean “these”?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
that they almost neglect the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
ways of writing and reading.
Furthermore
, lesser socialization
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of long hours of sitting in front of the computers, laptops and mobile phones. Longer usage means higher radiation exposure which contributes to the health
Possible spelling mistake found.
deterrioration
of the user.
Moreover
, exposure to prohibited videos are higher
especially
to the children; which should
be guided
by the parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
further
problems in the future.

To sum it up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
effects. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
side will
The modal verb ‘will’ requires the verb’s base form.
rocketed
, individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be responsible for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
;
thus
, all improvements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in moderation.
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With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay In the last 20 years, there have been significant developments in the field of information technology, for example the World Wide Web and communication by email. However, this developments in IT are likely to have more negative effects than positive in the future.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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