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Some people think that people who chose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to have a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people think that people who chose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to have a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. v. 2
Whether employees should regular switch their jobs or not has arose a strong controversy among concerning people. While I accept that changing jobs is beneficial in some extents, it is my opinion that having a long commitment within a field is more advantageous. On the one hand, there is a variety of reasons why staffs have a tendency of choosing to seek for new jobs. Firstly, it gives workers an easier access to master a wide range of vital soft skills. In deeds, the more job seekers start new jobs, the more different skills their learn from various working environments. For instance, some financial analysits who are extremely professional at analysing financial statements and economic trends, may find it interesting to learn presentation skill when they move to be spellbinders. Secondly, a number of seniors find suitable paths after failing at serveral first jobs. Let’s take a Vietnamese businessman – Quoc Anh as a telling example, not until the age of over 40, after leaving some positions as manufactoring managers in many factories, did he become succesfull with starting-up a retail outlets chain. On the other hand, I believe that staying long in the same sector is beneficial in some ways. Initially, staffs are bestowed upon the chances to get fast-tracked promotion in their career laders. It is undeniable that with longer periods of dedication for the thriving of the organizations, employees are more highly appriciated. Besides, they also earn bigger remuneration package to meet their needs such as luxurious cars or houses. Further more, commiting with a job is conducive to strengthening the brandnames of employees. Irfferutably, on the ground of deeply understading about the companies they work for, staffs thoroughly aware of strengths and defficiencies of the businessese so that they could contribute valuable and crucious ideas to cultivate the companies' competitive advances. As a result, they mark themselve on other’s respect, leading to increase their job satisfaction. By the way of conclusion, although switching jobs time by time can be advantageous in their own ways, it seems to me that developing career path in the same sector bring more bright sights.
Whether employees should
regular
switch their
jobs
or not has
arose
a strong controversy among concerning
people
. While I accept that changing
jobs
is beneficial in
some
extents, it is my opinion that having a long commitment within a field is more advantageous.

On the one hand, there is a variety of reasons why staffs have a tendency of choosing to seek for new
jobs
.
Firstly
, it gives workers an easier access to master a wide range of vital soft
skills
. In deeds, the more
job
seekers
start
new
jobs
, the more
different
skills
their learn from various working environments.
For instance
,
some
financial
analysits
who are
extremely
professional at
analysing
financial statements and economic trends, may find it interesting to learn presentation
skill
when they
move
to be spellbinders.
Secondly
, a number of seniors find suitable paths after failing at
serveral
first
jobs
.
Let
’s take a Vietnamese businessman
Quoc
Anh as
a telling example, not until the age of over 40, after leaving
some
positions as
manufactoring
managers in
many
factories, did he become
succesfull
with starting-up a retail outlets chain.

On the other hand
, I believe that staying long in the same sector is beneficial in
some
ways.
Initially
, staffs
are bestowed
upon the chances to
get
fast
-
tracked
promotion in their career
laders
. It is undeniable that with longer periods of dedication for the thriving of the organizations, employees are more
highly
appriciated
.
Besides
, they
also
earn bigger remuneration package to
meet
their needs such as luxurious cars or
houses
.
Further
more,
commiting
with a
job
is conducive to strengthening the
brandnames
of employees.
Irfferutably
, on the ground of
deeply
understading
about the
companies
they work for, staffs
thoroughly
aware of strengths and
defficiencies
of the
businessese
so
that they could contribute valuable and
crucious
ideas
to cultivate the
companies&
#039; competitive advances.
As a result
, they mark
themselve
on other’s respect, leading to increase their
job
satisfaction.

By the way of conclusion, although switching
jobs
time by time can be advantageous in their
own
ways, it seems to me that developing career path in the same sector bring more bright sights.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that people who chose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to have a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
354 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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