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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The things we learn from our friends are more important than what we learn from our family Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v.700

The things we learn from our friends are more important than what we learn from our family Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 700
When I think about the lessons I have learned in my life, I find many similarities in what I learned from my friends and from my family. There are also differences Both kinds of lessons have been very important to me. However, when I consider them carefully, I know that the lessons from my family are more important. While my friends have taught me to enjoy my life, my family has taught me to be strong. My friends have taught me how to feel independent. They have encouraged me to be myself, to have a lot of fun, and to find happiness in life. On the other hand, my mother has taught me to be independent in a very different way. When I was a child, she gave me advice such as Fight your own battles She said that so I would be strong because she could not always protect me Sometimes this was very difficult for me when I wanted my mother to help me even though I knew her advice was important. Furthermore, my family has taught me compassion and forgiveness. My younger brother taught me these qualities. I will never forget that once I was cruel to him because I was angry. My brother was afraid of the dark, but I turned off the lights to scare him. He was only six years old, and he was afraid and cried But later he asked me to read a book to him until he fell asleep. It was his way to forgive me. I can never forget how my little brother taught me how to forgive. I believe that our family teaches us the most important things because the lessons from family last longer. My family has taught me to be independent and strong, and this will help me during my whole life. Moreover, they have taught me how to forgive, which is necessary for getting along with other people. In short, the ssons from my family were not always enjoyable, yet they are deeper in my heart.
When I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
I have learned in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, I find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
similarities in what I learned from my friends and from my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. There are
also
differences Both kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to me.
However
, when I consider them
carefully
, I know that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
from my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

While my friends have taught me to enjoy my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
has taught me to be strong. My friends have taught me how to feel independent. They have encouraged me to be myself, to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
fun, and to find happiness in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
On the other hand
, my mother has taught me to be independent in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
way. When I was a child, she gave me advice such as Fight your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
battles She said that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I would be strong
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she could not always protect me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
this was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult for me when I wanted my mother to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me
even though
I knew her advice was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

Furthermore
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
has taught me compassion and forgiveness. My younger brother taught me these qualities. I will never forget that once I was cruel to him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I was angry. My brother was afraid of the dark,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I turned off the lights to scare him. He was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
six years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, and he was afraid and cried
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
later he asked me to read a book to him until he fell asleep. It was his way to forgive me. I can never forget how my
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
brother taught me how to forgive.

I believe that our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
teaches us the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
last longer. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
has taught me to be independent and strong, and this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me during my whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Moreover
, they have taught me how to forgive, which is necessary for getting along with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. In short, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
ssons
from my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
were not always enjoyable,
yet
they are deeper in my heart.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay The things we learn from our friends are more important than what we learn from our family Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 700

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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