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Some people think that people who chose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to have a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people think that people who chose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to have a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. v. 1
The only way to best evaluate the performance of a student is by conducting official examinations. Ongoing assessment like course work and projects is not good enough. I strongly disagree with this opinion, and the essay below will explain in details why I take this stance. Firstly, the role of formal examinations in the assessment of how well a student performs is overly exaggerated. Most students get so anxious even before the exam that they loss control of the situation. For instance, it is a known fact that students have panic attacks before or during exams. However, writing tests as the subject progresses provides a better relaxing environment and therefore, brings out the best from the students. It is for sure a better decision to choose the later. Furthermore, the inability to retain bulky information can make a candidate to perform poorly in examinations. Most examinations require recalling of many stored data from the brain. A good example is the fact that medical students are expected to remember details, all the topics from the first year of university in order to pass the final examination and become doctors. This, of course, results in a drastic reduction in pass rate. Moreover, ongoing evaluation fortunately eliminates this problem, as it creates an avenue for a smaller scope of the study to be assessed, thereby providing more appropriate judgement. In conclusion, formal examination is not the best approach to analyse how efficient a person is learning, since it raises serious anxiety and requires the ability to store and remember large scope of work. Inasmuch as many people advocate for it, I still strongly believe that it is not the best tool for a student's assessment.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
evaluate the performance of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is by conducting official
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examinations
. Ongoing assessment like course work and projects is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. I
strongly
disagree with this opinion, and the essay below will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
why I take this stance.

Firstly
, the role of formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examinations
in the assessment of how well a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
performs is
overly
exaggerated. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
anxious even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the exam that they
Did you mean "lost" (past tense of the verb 'lose')?
loss
control of the situation.
For instance
, it is a known fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have panic attacks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
or during exams.
However
, writing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
as the subject progresses provides a better relaxing environment and
therefore
, brings out the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. It is for sure a better decision to choose the
Did you mean "latter" (=the second of two items)?
later
.

Furthermore
, the inability to retain bulky information can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a candidate to perform
poorly
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examinations
. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examinations
require recalling of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
stored data from the brain. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example is the fact that medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to remember
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, all the topics from the
first
year of university in order to pass the final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examination
and become doctors. This,
of course
, results in a drastic reduction in pass rate.
Moreover
, ongoing evaluation
fortunately
eliminates this problem, as it creates an avenue for a smaller scope of the study to
be assessed
, thereby providing more appropriate judgement.

In conclusion
, formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examination
is not the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
approach to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
how efficient a person is learning, since it raises serious anxiety and requires the ability to store and remember large scope of work. Inasmuch as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
advocate for it, I
still
strongly
believe that it is not the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
tool for a student's assessment.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that people who chose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to have a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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